Uuum because baby girl loves her job and is not about getting fired obvs!!
Okay enough.
*Tries to resumes her state of relative normalcy.*
Today I will introduce you to my new friend PATIENCE.
I've know her for years. Hated her even longer.
I do not know Patience. Or rather how to deal with her.
If I am to drop the personification and be more sensible, Patience is a virtue. And it is one I lack completely.
Do not blame me.
I am a millenial.
I belong to a generation that believes all problems should be fixed immediately.
Hungry?
KFC delivers in 10 minutes ain't nobody got time to actually marinate and fry chicken.
Assignment due?
Google has all the answers to my problems. I have better places to go than to a library to actually RESEARCH.
Sick?
Google it then hit up a pharmacy because I already know what's wrong with me.
Patience is something foreign.
Partly because I am a millenial ever so quick to go everywhere and do everything but also because I was raised a last born and I am used to getting most of what I want when I want it.
But the last few months and year has made me change a lot because life has put me in circumstances that forced me to learn to wait.
It started with my undergraduate research project. 2 semesters that were decent except for emails from my supervisor and manuscripts covered in red marks which had me seriously wondering why I didn't just quit and wait to get a rich husband. Seriously, if it wasn't for God, God and God I would have cracked a long time ago. Also something that was 40% and blended Scotch lol.... but I digress.
But through it all, I was forced to wait for a tiny idea to grow into a tangible research paper. And when it did come to pass, it was beautiful and your girl got an A( yes I am bragging shamelessly :D ).
Exit project and campus life and I was forced into another situation that tested my patience. THE JOB hunt.
Laaawwdd. I always imagined whenever I threw my CV somewhere and inserted the name of my University and the one internship at a financial advisory company I did, I would immediately get an email saying we want you. What Lies!!! As in seriously University rankings are just a waste of time.
They get you all confident and excited only for you to be super disappointed.
I did this thing for 2 months and I wanted to cry. It was email after email. Online application after online application. I bugged my mother enough times. I tried to be busy writing while I wait but honestly my creative juices ran dry for some inexplainable reason. I resorted to one thing to numb my frustration... TV and long naps.
This waiting thing was not for me.
But somewhere along the line I was able to achieve goal number 5 of the year which was get a decent entry level position. I thought it would happen by February but May isn't too bad. People wait longer.
The whole point of this post isn't to brag to my job-hunting peers.
But it's to show you that waiting is inevitable.
No matter how much you hate it.
You just have to learn to embrace it. Waiting feels like floating in a vacuum. At least for me.
I wasn't so sure what to do with myself,
So I resorted to just laying there, in that period of nothingness hoping for a miracle.
I hated it. My anxiety had my mind racing as I kept hoping to wake up one day and find myself in a new routine and most importantly NOT WAITING.
But after getting through it I realize that Patience has to be my best friend by force. And no, not just for the big things but the little things too.
I am learning to allow myself to be patient even with others particularly Kenyans who do not know how to be on time. I inherited my mum's time ethic and I cannot stand people whose 1 pm means 4.25. But for some people, it is a personality trait, as ingrained in them as my need to show up early.
I am also learning to be patient with people because they wont always understand you. Or warm up. I am the newbie where I work. And that means there is a staff of 45 plus people who still do not know me so of course conversations will be awkward at times. But it's okay because again that will take time. And while I wait I will be content smiling awkwardly and occasionally participating in small talk.
And most importantly I am learning to be patient in my climb up the corporate ladder. It is frustrating. I am a millennial. I expect to be forever entertained and to see results. But that wont happen. There are still so many processes to be learnt. Which is annoying because my lack of this knowledge means there are a lot of times when I am in the office, waiting and using company wifi. And that can be fun because this place has amazing wifi but I also dont want to be that one using company wifi to blog. So lately I decided to be using this waiting time to grow my skills, read a bunch of Accounting Standards and religiously read Business Daily so that when the period of blooming happens in this corporate jungle, I have more than just the boring book knowledge to help me sail through.
So dear reader reading this, I don't know where you are but I will tell you this hunnay, be patient. And learn to wait patiently.
As a millennial it is so hard.
But everything will happen at it's time.
Learn how to build yourself as you wait. If it's a job, practice by volunteering somewhere or maybe grow your skills by studying something related to your line of work. Don't just sit there watching Nairobi Diaries (or do this sometimes because it can be fun but don't make it your day job lol).
If you are in a dilemma and waiting for a miracle to lead you to your next move just wait patiently. You will figure it out too.. But dont stop thinking and praying about it.
If it's Mr or Mrs Right, in time that will come too. My single-hood was a seriously frustrating process at times because it had been a whiile since I was that alone (yes I said it) but something beautiful came of it, eventually. So as you wait, grow yourself, learn to love yourself unconditionally and spoil yourself doing things that make you happy.
If it's for a tough time in your life to pass, take courage in the strength that comes only from above.
Sit through the pain. Cry if you must. Cry a lot. But dont let it get the best of you, it shall pass too. Just like everything else.
You just wait patiently love.
If it's Mr or Mrs Right, in time that will come too. My single-hood was a seriously frustrating process at times because it had been a whiile since I was that alone (yes I said it) but something beautiful came of it, eventually. So as you wait, grow yourself, learn to love yourself unconditionally and spoil yourself doing things that make you happy.
If it's for a tough time in your life to pass, take courage in the strength that comes only from above.
Sit through the pain. Cry if you must. Cry a lot. But dont let it get the best of you, it shall pass too. Just like everything else.
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| image from tumblr |
