Wednesday 31 December 2014

Diary of the Melancholic Traveller: Reflections when it's over

Dear Diary,
It has taken me a while to write this partly because of my cold and also I cannot believe it's over.
Honestly Friday was a really sad day and after a heavy breakfast we hit the road. On our last game drive we were lucky enough to catch some elephants up close on our way out. I felt kind of sad taking it all in and knowing it would be a while till I got to see the magnificent scenery again.
Once we were out of the reserve I pretty much fell asleep for the entire drive back home which is quite long.
We started our journey at 8.30 am and arrived in Nairobi at around 2 pm.
All in all I can say it was a fantastic vacay.
Kenya is really beautiful and it is indeed no wonder that The Mara is as big an attraction as it is.
I also applaud the staff at all the hotels we stayed in. They took being very welcoming to a whole new level and I did feel very cared for.
And our tour company(Global Star Tours) did a very great job coming up with our package and our driver, Maina, well he was awesome.
I think what makes a safari in the wild more awesome besides staying at a great location is having a driver who is as patient and as friendly as the one we had. Plus the way he manouevered through those muddy tracks in the Mara was just out of this world. He was truly a great one.
So that's it. My awesome Christmas in the wild. I can't wait to do this again next year.
Love,
The Melancholic Traveller who had a great time.

Friday 26 December 2014

Diary of the Melancholic Traveller: Mara Day 2

Dear Diary,
Please take me back.
Please. I will do anything.
Our second day in the Mara was pretty good. It started on a rainy note. But not even the skies could stop our plans.
We started by sitting in the lobby watching a few hippos play in the water in the nearby Mara River.
After breakfast (a very meaty buffet with lots of mini steaks, sausages and bacon) we started our mid morning drive. The rain had sort of scared the animals into hiding but we did see a few lions and a lot of wildebeests. Our driver then took us on this mad dash to get a candid of the exact border point where there is even an eroded beacon that marks the boundary between Kenya and Tanzania. Later we went and got an upclose view of the Mara River where a nice Kenya Wildlife Services ranger took us on a nice walk along its banks (at a little fee). We even got a glimpse of one of the most photographed spots on the river which is a major crossing point during the wildebeest migration that has made the Mara so popular.
Of course my threatening cold made my energy levels pretty low so most of the time I just sat in the van all snuggled up in a Maasai 'shuka' taking in the magnificent scenery.
We then headed back to the camp for lunch and I treated myself to a nice nap before our evening game drive.
At around 3 pm we got back into the van for what would be our final official game drive. The rain had stopped and the sun was out so we were expecting to see more animals out. Unfortunately it seemed they were still in their shelters so except for 2 lions which we caught up with as they just finished an entire buffalo and a few herds of zebras we didn't catch much game.
We did however see this huge snake slithering across the grass. Even though we were in the safety of our van it still scared me because it was so huge and black. I think it must have been a black mamba. Scary.
Dinner was served at around 8 and by then I was super sleepy. After I ate I tried to stick around to watch the Maasai dancers but they took too long to come so I just retreated to bed and missed their perfomance.
Well, I guess that's all for now.
I can't bring myself to write about how sad I felt leaving that place so I think I will write about that in my final post in the series tomorrow.
Love,
The melancholic traveller who is sad.

Thursday 25 December 2014

Diary of the Melancholic Traveller: Mara day 1

Dear Diary,
I am feeling very irritable maybe because of the long drive from Lake Nakuru. We left the hotel at 7 and arrived at Ashnil Mara Camp at around 3.30 p.m. One word - exhaustion.
The drive was ridiculously long. There I was thinking Lake Nakuru Sopa Lodge was hidden. Clearly I had no idea. For almost 4 hours we drove on rough murram roads into a plain that seemed to endlessly expand into the horizon. Kind of beautiful but it also does have a way of wearing you out. That and the fact that my phone was dying did not really help.
The Mara is insanely magical. It is just a plain that rolls on and on.. and its been a bit rainy so it is looking very green nothing like what they show in the movies.
It is one of those places you drive on and on until you sort of start to lose your sense of direction.
Now our tented camp... another story. Honestly we are in the bush. Somebody just found a little space in between riverine bushes along the Mara River and brought some tents and a few gourmet chefs and voila... tourist resort. Unlike Lake Nakuru Sopa which was barely into it's 3rd week of operations, Ashnil Mara has been around for a while so it was a welcome change seeing other tourists.
I did not mind our room except for the teeny weeny spiders hiding in the tented wall. That did not amuse me.
The wifi situation is not the best. It is  only available in the lobby and it costs 10 dollars. I could complain but we are in the middle of the wild so infrastructure is very expensive we should even be glad they offer it at all.
Anyway we arrived a little late but after the usual hot hand towels and juice reception, they were still able to offer us a buffet lunch since they had been expecting us.Their food is good. Simple but good not like the gourmet stuff we ate previously at Lake Nakuru.
Afterwards we went for an evening game drive. Here the animals are a bit more scattered but we did see a lot of lions and gazelles.
Dinner soon followed and like lunch, it was a Christmas buffet. I loved it especially the Angels's food cake I had for dessert which just may be the reason my throat is feeling all congested as I type this. They did this whole birthday jig during dinner where the chefs came out singing and dancing carrying cake for one of the guests. That was entertaining and the host told us tomorrow there will be a group of Maasai Dancers.. yaaay!
So far so good. This place is ridiculously cold and my immune system is under siege so I am feeling a little sick but I won't let that get to me. I shall cover myself in layers of sweaters and smile and drink cold juice and eat dessert but wash it down with warm water and beg this cold to go away.
Love,
The melancholic traveller who is hanging in there.

Wednesday 24 December 2014

Diary of the Melancholic Traveller: Lake Nakuru Detours

Dear Diary,
I kind of understand what Taylor Swift meant when she sang the words,
"today was a fairytale,".
The past day has been somewhere near a safari fairytale.
Leaving Nairobi was well, leaving Nairobi. There was not much just a cloudy sky and a newly carpeted by pass which was a breeze to drive on. We got to Nakuru by like 11 a.m. And began our off road adventure in Lake Nakuru. Which was quite the adventure btw.
I mean for the first time I hated my couch potato ways because I realized that my aversion for new experiences meant I was missing out a lot. Lake Nakuru is beyond beautiful even with the absence of flamingos.
We began by a little game drive through the park and stopped over at the Off Road View Point which is on a little hill over looking the lake. The water looked all dark but still reflected a bit of the midday sun. Seeing as how we were starved the game drive was cut short and we proceeded to the Lake Nakuru Sopa Lodge.
It is at this point that this fairy tale begins.
I mean it is so beautiful and the reception they gave us had us feeling all royal. There was this warm hostess (I forget her name :-\ ) but she was warm and cheerful and received us very kindly. We were offered hot hand towels and juice before being ushered to our rooms.
What I loved is this whole décor theme they have going on which is inspired by the surrounding woodland. I am not the biggest fan of brown. Honestly I prefer glass and metal to wood and stone anyday but in their case I make an exception. The rooms look like little circular cottages plus our rooms have this spectacular view of the lake seeing as how the lodge is located on a high hill that overlooks the entire park. And the wi-fi is great. Minus the whole no TV anywhere, well I think I could live here forever.  I didn't get to chill by the pool but it looked inviting as well and it also overlooks the lake.
Anyway lunch was quite something. Of course they do proper 4 course meals. We had mushroom on toast for starters and a vegetable soup which was a bit plain but still good and fresh. By the time the main course started I was well on my way to feeling stuffed. For the main course we had juicy lamb and chunky potatoes with beetroot sauce and vegetables. Yummers.
Now dessert deserves its own paragraph. Passion mousse in a crispy white chocolate shell. I was in sugar heaven. Like I have never tasted anything so creamy and fruity and sweet....
*okay I need a moment*
Anyway after that serious meal we went for another successful game drive. Successful because we saw so many animals. Animals are interesting and here are a few random facts I learnt:
-Lions are my animal soulmates. Turns out they sleep 18 hours a day. Just like me on weekends lol. Go team feline!
-Gazelles are a bit like mordern day teenagers. They walk in separate male/female groups and the males identify themselves as bachelors always battling out to win the spot of single sole protector of a group of females
-Rhinos do not like humans very much, as evidenced by a story our guide told us of a rhino that decided to charge at a group of tourists in a van. Like it actually hit their van even as it drove off at like 100kph.
What that drive made me realize about being a tourist is the little joys you enjoy. Like those moments you run into random groups of people in their vans and you wave at them happily. Or those moments a tour van driver stops yours to tell you where the next amazing sighting is and your driver does this mad dash to catch them before they leave. It was this genuine peaceful feeling; even getting lost in the bushes and having the evening drizzle leak through the sunroof.
We got back in time for dinner and ran into the manager in the lobby, a friendly gentleman called Fred. I think this guy has the best job in the world because Lake Nakuru Sopa is so beautiful I could live there forever. I would totally not mind working hard and being posted to be a finance manager in a tourist resort somewhere in the middle of nowhere.
Dinner was great. The starter was this chef's salad that had been presented so fancily I just wanted to stare at it. The butternut soup was a major improvement on the one we had for lunch. Our main dish was  sweet and sour chicken served with rice . And dessert..  next paragraph please.
Cashewnut cheesecake.
I am not the biggest cheesecake fan but this one deserved applause. End of story.
That chef of theirs deserves a raise. Our tastebuds have never been so entertained.
Anyway we were all so tired and just went straight to bed I didn't even want to spend hours on YouTube as I had planned.
Oh and a major plus, they provide hot water bottles in the beds. And that is how to make a tired tourist sleep like a baby and make a resolve to come back again:-)
Well, that was our day. Tiring but nonetheless amazing.
Right now we are on our way to the Mara to continue our vacay. Yaay!
More later.
Love,
The melancholic traveller who doesn't feel very melancholic anymore.❤
Feeling all top-model in front of the tourvan
A collage of some of the meals I ferociously devoured
That awesome moment when everyone decides to go on a game drive :)
Presenting the BEASTS!
The beautiful entrance
Views from the dining area

Monday 22 December 2014

Diary of the Melancholic Traveller: The Prelude

"Once upon a time there was a girl with a 16GB smart phone with the Blogger App and a fabulous camera who still believes her little blog will change the world. She isn't sure how but she just knows it...."
Merry Christmas!!
'tis the season gain weight and have a forgivable reason.'
Yes? No?
I have no idea why I just wrote that. Forgive me.
*steps back into normal self*
Anyway the past few months I know I wasn't as active on this blog as I would have loved and I kind of feel bad about that so I decided to do a Christmas post with a difference. Well sort of.
This season I am going to the Maasai Mara for the first time ever!!
My family and I had been thinking of doing a Mara road trip for the longest time ever and when this plan was confirmed I decided to make it a bit of a creative vacay by documenting our travel on this here blog. Of course this was inspired partly by a few of my favourite bloggers who have done similar 'Tembea Kenya' themed posts including the lovely Sharon Mundia .
So basically I will do a diary series of about 4 posts themed around this. Depending on the wi-fi situation, I hope to post either daily as it happens or when I get back.
I do hope you will enjoy reading and it will inspire you to go enjoy God's creation and tell the world about it in your chosen way.
So here is the introduction post in the title series...
MAASAI MARA HOLIDAY STARTER PACK
Less than 24 hours to this major trip and I am beyond excited I do not think if I will even be able to sleep tonight.
Packing for any trip can be a bit of task because of the dilemma that is packing clothes that make you feel good without overloading your suitcase or in my case backpack.
I'm yet to check the weather situation in the Rift Valley on AccuWeather™ but I am relying on a little common sense to do my packing.
Which is why my 4 day Mara Road trip starter pack is as follows:

(pardon the numbering I made a mistake numbering the pictures and had to re-adjust the text accordingly)
1. 2 pairs of pants. Khakis and black pencil jeans are a universally known wardrobe staple. And even on holiday they are essential. They match everything and are comfy enough to be worn as you lounge in the hotel, take game drives and even for a nice dinner by the camp fire. To make them super versatile I added into the mix a variety of tops including t-shirts and heavy sweater tops(for evening). I also packed 2 skirts for travel day and as a dinner outfit alternative just incase they have a 'no jeans to dinner' policy where we are going.
2. For footwear I kept it simple as well.
Rubber shoes are a staple for any safari. The 'bata ngomaz' pictured are my go to footwear for any casual engagement. They have seen me go on  hikes at Oloolua Nature Trail in Karen and random days thrift shopping at Toi so there is no way they would be left behind. I also thought a nice pair of Maasai Sandals are good for just lounging in the hotel. The boots were specifically to make me feel all tourist during the planned game drives. With a nice pair of khakis, they definitely complete the whole tourist look.
4. A safari isn't the most glamorous of enagements so no need to pack my entire make-up drawer. Just Nivea creme and lotion for face and body. A little body spray that smells fresh but isn't too strong and vaseline(not pictured). Also a little mascara, eye liner and my favourite lip stain because simple doesn't have to be too plain.
5. A list of other random essentials that include:
-Jewellery: I chose to carry a bunch of bracelets. And hairbands.
-earphones and charger (major essential)
-wet wipes and hand sanitizer
-notebook and pens(for documenting everything)
-a simple black leather sling bag for carrying my daily essentials.
6.And all the above fit into my lovely red tote, black sling bag and back pack.
:)). Talk about travelling light.
Notably absent is a swimsuit because I just had my hair retouched and best believe chlorine and relaxed hair do not mix at all. That is a lesson learnt because next time I will plan my retouch for after the vacay.
Also I didn't have sunglasses because I tend to be careless with mine, losing them all the time and I had not had time to go pick out a new pair but what I will be carrying is a nice big hat or beret though they aren't pictured.
So now I am packed and ready.
I just pray this trip turns out well and  you enjoy the read.
Happy holidays once again..  more later so bookmark me now.... pleeeease :)
Thank you for reading and feel free to like(on any social media pages you stumbled across this on) comment and share.
Also any travel essentials that you think I forgot tell me...
Otherwise later sweethearts❤❤.

Friday 28 November 2014

November 28th 2014.

Speechless.
Robber of hearts
you stole my heart
and my words followed obligingly
because what I feel at best is often
undescribable
but I dare to make a feeble attempt.
Naked.
Fully clothed,
I stand before you and my inner thoughts shudder for they have nowhere to hide.
I know now everyone sees what you see but I am now convinced that no one can see it the way you do.
See, I just may be the melancholic girl your mother must have mistakenly forgot to warn you about.
But as certain as the surety of a sunrise
You still remain the sterling sir that sees me beyond the seen.
So this is for you on the day you allowed me to see  your flawless faults
Because now I realize now that when the strongest stumble they come back only stronger.

Friday 14 November 2014

Are We The Righteous Ones?

Guess who is back?
Well I would go into the details of why I haven't posted in a while but that shall be saved for another post.
Today I speak on a matter that is trending all over the 254.
A matter that has struck a serious nerve.
Dressing.
Actually indecent dressing and women's rights to dress or not dress indecently.
Please note that the term indecent is used very lightly because:
1. It is very subjective
2. It is very very subjective
3. It is very very very subjective.
Let's make one thing clear. I am very liberal minded sometimes I even question myself. I love the arts and I am a business student.
I admire people covered in piercings and tattoos just as much as I admire some conservatives who have accomplished some great things.
Most of all I believe at the end of the day everyone should have the right to be themselves.Whatever that means to them. Also I sincerely believe that everybody has the reasons why they do what they do and it is certainly not in my place to judge a fellow mortal just because they sin a little differently than I do.
Sure I may not always agree with what everyone does but I try my best not to condemn others because I'm not the saint. Actually no one is.
That said, here is the thing. I come from a generally conservative family. We avoid super goth piercings and wearing very haute couture fashion which no one really understands because they are just so different.  We are ourselves, we just like to keep it simple. That's why I save my ridiculously bold red lips and layers upon layers of very blingy jewellery for occasions that are not family gatherings because well, we just are that way. Not that if I ever did some Kim K contouring and layered on my favourite red lippie they would put a wet cloth to my face faster than I can say Kardashian or ban me from being one of their own. Just that it wouldn't feel right. At least in the presence of the elder ones.
I love a nice short skater dress just like the next girl but I know better than to wear it when I am going to visit my grandparents. Why? Like I said. We just don't do that.
But if on one occassion I did happen to forget that and wore one do I fear that they would tear it off me? Not exactly. Certainly they would sit me down immediately and give me a heart to heart and offer me a shawl to wrap myself in.
But not publicly humiliate me or violate me in any way.
One thing I know about where I'm from, we are Christians and we believe in correcting with love not in a manner that undermines my dignity as a person. They correct in a way that will help me understand that at the end of the day it is for my benefit not to fulfil their malicious intentions.
Now that that is out of the way let's talk business.
Rule number One:
My dressing is my BUSINESS.Period.
I believe in dressing to impress but the number one person on the impress list is ME.  That means if I wear my pyjamas to the supermarket, I am doing it for me. If I spend a lot on a fancy maxi dress for a wedding full of people I do not even know or who do not even know me, I am doing it for me. If I am feeling some 'typa' way and wear the most androgynous, menswear inspired pair of Khakis and blazer I own, I am doing it for ME. If I wear that body con midi pencil skirt that brings out curves I wish I had, I am doing it for ME.
Not you. Not us. Not them. But ME.
If YOU who is not ME feel so offended by my way of dressing either perhaps it is too conservative (if you are a liberal) or you think I am being too inappropriate (if you are an extreme conservative) quite frankly, you can keep it to yourself. Because I understand every one has a right to an opinion. Just do not freaking shove it in my face unless you have good reason.
And if at all you feel something must be done about it then fine, show me the error in my ways. Maybe I might learn a thing from you. At the end of the day man is a very visual being. That's why I will certainly trust a shop attendant who is looking like something out of a magazine to tell me which skirt makes me look good than I would some one who is looking like they just walked out of bed. I am not vain. It's human nature. Hate me if you want to. It's the truth. We are visual. We want the outside to match what we aspire for in the inside and we are more than elated when we find someone who has done the same.
Back to my point: do not freaking humiliate me in the name of trying to get me to see your point.
Like I said my dressing is for ME. Not You or Us or Them.
That means if you think there is anything wrong with how I dress then correct me in a way that benefits ME.
Not a way that benefits you or them.
But ME.
I heard a male lawyer comment on this issue on the radio and he imagined a scenario where a strict dress code existed in court. If one day he showed up wearing something inappropriate, his superiors would certainly not strip him just because he broke the code. They would remind him of the code and send him home to change because the dress code benefits him and his corporate image.
I totally agree with him. I attend a university that abides by a strict dress code. Fortunately or not I am about 5ft 8, quite tall for my age. That basically means what would be appear as mid length on the average female on me would be knee length or end just above the knee. In my school, anything above the knee is unacceptable. Many at times I have found myself on the wrong because of this but do the dress code assistants strip me just because I broke a rule? Certainly not. They just  send me home to change and with time I have learnt to tow the line.
They correct me in a way that has benefit me because now I know not to wear that skirt that rises too high when I walk
especially on crucial days when I have exams etc. And well I do believe with time I have learnt to portray a good corporate image which matches the career ambitions I have.
We learn by experience and correction.
I have no qualms if you offer me dressing advice that will help me learn.
But find a damn hobby if you will whisper behind my back or humiliate me or any other person just because you hate how I dress. Seriously.  Destructive criticism is that shit that makes aliens think we are retarded.
And now I unapologetically take shots at those who believe in stripping down women just because they believe they are 'indecently' dressed.
I do not know how the victim was dressed so I refuse to make a comment on that bit about whether she was right or wrong.
What I will throw shade on is the very idea let alone act of humiliating her to prove a point.
So to the females who didn't bother to cover her up before and cheered on, do not call yourself a sister. Sisters look out for each other. A real sister should have called her aside and covered her up before these guys had a chance to prey on her shame. I certainly know of random females who have helped me out of potentially embarrassing girl moments so none of this 'it's a stranger so I will not care B.S.'
If you felt too scared to help because I know mobs can be evil, walk away. Do not freaking encourage them.
To those that did that act. I could bring up the idea of night clubs and side chics and expose your hypocrisy but I will not. All I will say is shame on you. How would you like it if that was your sister or daughter? You might say well you would never let them walk out the house that way but really we all know that is not true. Even you know better than to get in the way of a woman set on her ways. So get off that high horse and man up. You could have told her to go back home or given her your coat. That is only and only if you believe her not wearing that clothing item which seemed inappropriate would have been a better decision for HER not a better decision for YOU or YOUR hormones.
To everyone, me included, who at one point has judged another for their mode of dressing whether you thought it too inappropriate or too -dare I say- grandma-ish' let us ask for forgiveness.
I mean are we the righteous ones? Are we? I bring back my earlier point of not judging people just because they sin a little different from us.
Always remember these words...
Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

Thursday 11 September 2014

Love

Because the heart is a black box.
Every conquest, loss or rejection leaves its trace.  We love in the shadow-sometimes benign,  sometimes malevolent- of every disappointment,  betrayal or fulfilment.  We love-and no god can control the feeling or mitigate the consequences.
Priya Basil-The Obscure Logic of the Heart.




Saturday 23 August 2014

Weird.

Maybe it is natural,
Automatic.
The constant worry of what the masses think.
This constant desire to please and appease.
The irrational fear of being the one they will tease.
The desire to impress even if it means it is your voice that you will have to surpress,
For people who at the back of your mind you know could not care less.
About you.
Or maybe, maybe
Like character it is acquired.
This desire to be desired.
To be angels we are not.
To cover up our every fault.
To blend in with the rest.
And from there be considered the best.
Irregardless of whether what we have to do,
Is seldom in our best interest.
Maybe this approval sought after
Is a figment of our imagination.
An inexistent creation.
Devised by our once clean conscience
Designed to steer us the wrong way
Perhaps to give us a justification
For every act done as a result of poor discretion.
To forever leave us in torment
And further from our state of perfection;
That ever elusive state of self actualization.
Maybe I should finally let them judge me for growing up.
For shutting these  voices down.
For wearing my wonderful weirdness like a crown.
For marching to the oh-so orthodox beat of my own drum
And not associating with those who will not make me conform to the erratic march of theirs.
For only associating with those who love me for the angel I am not
And the devil I try not to be.

Thursday 14 August 2014

Taking Stock: Birthday Edition

And this is Meg taking stock as she turns slightly less than a quarter of a century years old :)

Making: Plans for what my next blog post will be about. This blog is becoming my baby and I don't want to be that blogger who started with so much psyche only to ditch this blog leaving all you dear readers high and dry.

Cooking: Nothing at all. Eating on the other hand, well, anything full of sugar, salt or starch that tastes foo-gasmic. And I have no regrets. YOLO baby. (though in my defence, I walk a lot so that cholesterol gets burned pretty fast) And also Ola Chips in Cheesy Crunch because they are just sooo yummy.
source: Google Images

Drinking: Would have said water but left my bottle at home. But I will be drinking some orange soda in a few minutes. I mean screw the weather, if I want a cold drink I will take my cold drink. But I am keeping warm though. (Just in case mummy drops by this page)

Reading: For my Accounting CAT on Friday. Guess who is now an Accounting Major?

Playing: Not a damn thing at all.

Wasting: No time trying to do my best in everything. Because as I turn 21 (fine I said it) I realize that the time to let my star shine was yesterday and I am done taking a backseat and settling for mediocrity as far as my goals are concerned.

Wishing:For a chance to take a flight anywhere because it has been forever since I felt that amazing adrenaline rush during take-off and I just want to roam the skies and view a sunset(or sunrise) from 5000ft above sea level. Sigh.

Enjoying: Life. And Love. Especially in all the unconventional ways it tends to manifest itself around me.

Liking: The fact that my wardrobe is starting to shape up. Lately I have these days when I just look at my closet and think, damn, my outfit game is on point. And I have no shame in blowing my own trumpet because I do dress much better nowadays.

Wondering: Whether I made the right decision to be an Accounting major. I love what I do. Actually, I am in love with it because it is finally starting to make sense. But there is that voice that questions whether this is what I will spend the rest of my life doing. The way I am falling in love with writing lately, only time will tell.

Loving:  Ola Tortilla Chips. I am not a foodie. But I do have a slight junk food fetish. And Ola, I love you very much.


Hoping: That this state of slight normalcy that has returned to this country persists. I am super thankful for it because the past few months in this beautiful nation were crazy and I keep praying we never go back to those days again.

Marveling: At how fast time flies. Can you imagine a year ago I was this young lass coming to terms with the fact that I am not a teen anymore and now well, I am still in that state of disbelief, but now I have a blog :). And being legal is sort of cool so I love it.

Smelling: The air of our school library. I love that smell by the way, of pages of old books that are still in a very new condition. So beautiful.

Wearing: (as I type this) a heavy blue scarf because it is cold outside and my neck is super sensitive. But when this post shall be published, I will be wearing a bright Kitenge jacket. Because how else will they know I am the birthday girl?

Following:  This blog though it may be relatively new I love the perspective the writer is taking in talking about Nairobi. Also following Olive Gachara's Instagram account after watching her interview on Young Rich. Her story on how she started her business is just so amazing, definitely my role model.

Noticing: How my grammar lately is becoming atrocious. This will change. So if you hear me speaking in a new more polished accent, don't hate baby, emulate :)

Knowing: A lot more than I did a year ago. I know now not to judge others when they sin a little different than me. I also know myself better and how to handle myself better in situations that potentially bring out the worst in me. Most importantly I know now that at the end of the day people will judge you whether you do right or wrong so I now only listen to the most important voices, mine and that of my Maker.

Thinking: About what I am going to eat for lunch. I think I am hungry.

Feeling: Excited. I always do,every time I blog and share my mind.

Bookmarking: Nothing new. Same old fashion blogs although my photographer  friend The Masked Bandit has this really cool project going on that is all about sharing the voices and stories of people in this city. Check out his Instagram. Cool stuff right there.

Opening: a tin of Lip-balm maybe. Okay pass on this one.

Giggling: Instacomedy. Enough Said.

Listening: To Magic by Coldplay. This song is just all forms of deep. And the fact that I sort of relate to that deep-ness just makes it so beautiful. Good music right there.


Well, thank you for caring about what goes on in my mind on this day of my birth.


Happy birthday to all the Leos everywhere.

Thank you again for reading, your views are like my birthday gift, given all year round :-**

Saturday 2 August 2014

Of Personal Space and Problems only Melancholics Understand

Remember that time before your parent brought home your younger sibling and you were all excited only to go all 'what the fishcakes was I thinking' a few months later? Yes?
Good.
Because after 21 years I finally relate to what you are feeling.
No, my mama dearest is not bringing home a tiny screaming baby so all of you who know my family can keep your ducks in a row.
But. I am faced with the prospect of needing to open the high steel gates of my personal space so as to take in a guest who may just be cohabiting with me for a while.
And yes, I am terrified. Very terrified.
Why? Before you go calling me a mean little brat, understand one thing. I am that kid who had her own room from the time she was 8. Seeing as my only sibling is much much older and I grew up in a suburb sort of in the middle of nowhere overlooking the majestic Ngong Hills without many kids my age to interact with at home, I sort of morphed into the typical melancholic. I can be super moody, like I go from happy to dull in less than 0.5 seconds and at times I am the annoying perfectionist especially when it comes to matters I am confident of my knowledge in. I am terribly choosy and sometimes it is difficult to please me. Infact my reputation could be summarized in one word 'bitch' if I hadnt learnt to be quiet if I can't say anything nice and if I didn't like being sweet to people.Most importantly however, I am not a people person. At all.  Like the typical mel, new people sort of drain my energy. In fact I would rather be in my warm bed in pyjamas and messy hair than out in the world. If I am to 'do people' they have to be those chosen few who have seen me at my sweetest,ratchet-est (because every girl has that side) and brattiest and still insist on associating with me-aka my ride or dies.
So you can only imagine how I feel about home. My lair. It is where I re-energize because it is in this place that I escape all the insanity that is out there. It is at home where I can roam in over size pyjamas, go all Beyonce in front of the mirror and just chill. And the number one reason I love home? The fact that I get to enjoy lots of personal space without worrying about stepping on the toes of someone else because as much as people drain me, I do hate conflict. And this whole story of inviting a stranger just gives me shivers because typical melancholics need a 'no new friends' environment to be lazy and get their creative juices flowing. FYI if suddenly I become dormant, just know it might be because I have no lair where my body and energy feels free. Also that explains how my home situation should be of concern to you dear reader.
On to another point. The funny thing is I always had this fantasy about having a mini me. Someone around to sort of mentor and keep from making the same mistakes I made. In fact so strong was my desire I had sort of tried being on the lookout for a nice little random younger friend who seemed open to being friends with this mess here. But when I got wind of this idea of having a stranger co-habit with us for a while, I went all like, why was I praying for this??
I don't know maybe it is just me who is majorly over-thinking this but I am so not f......ng ready to be a role model. Literally I am this beautiful mess and I can't imagine myself taking the role of showing someone the ropes of how to or not to live. Like I can barely keep it together myself, I can't bear the thought of having someone watching trying to learn a thing or two from me;if at all there is anything worth emulating.  I am the typical last born, I delight in imperfection(hence the reason I showed how not flawless I am in an earlier paragraph). I believe the whole role model thing is for the leaders... The older siblings. Not me. I am that one that was born to do something dumb yet awesome that would make the parent console themselves that at least they have one good kid. That is until they realize how amazing and out of the box my path is. And being a role model is for the leaders, not the followers.
After all this venting though, I know that at the end of the day, I can't run away from life. And maybe it was planned that at a time when M just wants to hide from the world, life would happen and she would have to open up the doors and accommodate a beautiful stranger. So I will try to put my melancholic fears away and just see where all this will take me.
Is there anyone out there who has similar melancholic type problems? It would be nice to know I am not alone. Or just plain weird.

Tuesday 29 July 2014

Carpe Diem

I was feeling very low and it was gradually becoming harder to use my brain to create beauty in the form of relatively well woven words. I was like this, that is until I did something... different.
I was feeling low and lazy until I  attended the funeral service of a true carpe diem. 
Or rather someone whose mantra 'happy days' reminded me of this latin phrase.
And it was beautiful.
Yes.
So if you ever feel like you need a reminder about why you should drag yourself out of bed each day, attend the farewell of a carpe diem.
Why?
Because only a true carpe diem leaves a legacy that inspires not only in life but in passing.
A carpe diem by the way is a person who lives life to the utter maximum. Call them YOLO, but with the right kind of ambition. The carpe diem doesn't set out to eat life with a big spoon, no honey, the carpe diem eats life with a freaking spade. And the most beautiful thing about them is that they are all action no talk. So a carpe diem doesn't go bragging about how they are doing this, it just shows. In everything. The risks they take, the passions they pursue.
They have talents and they use them.
But I think the most beautiful thing is that they live this beautiful life full of positivity and good vibes and the same positivity follows them even till they are laid to rest. That is how I realized the importance of this. It is in listening to the tributes said and sung for this particular carpe diem that I learnt that if you radiate happiness and love to those around you, that same happiness and love will follow you as you journey through life.
The world is big enough to accomodate your awesome. Really it is. Whichever form it may take, whether it is loud and happy like the one of my departed muse or whether it is quiet but full of inner beauty like the kind I like to believe I have. The carpe diem way is to make that light shine irregardless of the nature of the flame. Just let it shine bright enough to inspire someone else in days to come.
I am still learning more about the carpe diem way FYI so if I am getting this concept wrong forgive me. But all I know is if it means I can inspire a soul or two and I get to tell the Creator thank you by rocking my personality to the fullest, then I am in. I am so in.
And okay maybe the whole attending a funeral for a carpe diem sounds a bit too goth and all sorts of freaky. So instead find that one person you know who eats life with a big spoon. Engage them. If you are like me, who finds social interaction done outside the confines of sheer necessity quite the daunting task, then observe them. Whatever you do, just learn from them.
Life is such a beautiful thing when lived without regrets.
By the way Ombaye, R.I.P.
Only a champion can add sunshine to his friends by his life and inspire strangers in his death.

Tuesday 15 July 2014

Off the Market


For a Confidant...
Congratulations are in order I guess,
Apparently word is finally she said yes
Though I celebrate with you because the effort paid off
I'll miss being able to text you at 3 a.m when I am an emotional mess
It's really not a big deal though so don't you stress
all about boundaries more or less
I mean I respect you and what you have
And I will cheer you on from a distance as it turns into love
But not too far, I still remain a friend
And you can call me your cheerleader
And I will encourage you even when the honeymoon shall end
But before it's over and you have so much to say
About how the way she walks and talks makes you smile all the way
You can count on me to listen to that love shit all day
I also promise to understand if for plans you are late
Or need to ditch me for an impromptu date
And because females are complicated I guarrantee the best of advice
That includes a shopping buddy for gifts
Nigga you won't even have to ask twice
And for all the pain and drama you saw me through in the past
I promise to be the one you can talk to when it will hurt that it didn't last
And if you ever give second chances that turn into heartbreak again
Call me the only female whose loyalty will remain
As I end this really bad nursery rhyme
I hope it works out for you this time...
So to the one I used to call at 3 a.m when I am a vulnerable confused emotional mess
Cheers but remember those boundaries will never keep me
From being that shoulder at 3 a.m when it's your heart that's under stress.

Friday 27 June 2014

Being in Your Twenties

This has to be the post which I wrote the fastest, thank God for the command copy+paste.
Anyway as I have too often mentioned, I am 20 and accepting that fact has been the hardest thing of my life because of the sudden reality that I am becoming a woman and the proverbial 'rest of my life' is now here and it's time to make real choices.
I admit it hasn't been easy and my mind is like this warzone with so much going on.
I thought I was alone until I came across this post on This is Ess which I could totally relate to because it described a lot of how I am feeling.  So with the necessary permissions I decided to reblog it because I feel it could touch the hearts of a few more people and perhaps encourage them.

Oh and it was originally created by Sheila Shiru.

BEING IN YOUR TWENTIES....

Being in your twenties...
It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start
realizing that there are many things about yourself that
you didn't know and may not like.You start feeling
insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two,
but then get scared because you barely know where you
are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that,
maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close
to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met,
and the people you have lost touch with are some of the
most important ones. What you don't recognize is that
they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty,
mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job... and it is not even close to what
you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are
looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have
to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions
have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and
find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly
you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life
and are constantly adding things to your list of what is
acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure
and then the next, secure.
You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You
feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is
the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear
life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and
further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where
you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you
loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and
wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that
you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love
someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out
why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a
bad person. You want to settle down for good because
now all of a sudden that becomes top priority. Getting
wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.You
begin to think a companion for life is better than a
hundred in the shack and for once you would not mind
standing tall for that special someone which otherwise
you had never thought of until now.
You go through the same emotions and questions over
and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics
because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry
about loans, money, the future and making a life for
yourself... and while winning the race would be great,
right now you'd just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that every one reading this
relates to it.We are in our best of times and our worst of
times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing
out. 
We call it the "Quarter-life Crisis".
- See more at: http://www.thisisess.com/2013/08/being-in-your-twenties.html#sthash.dIcUiKfG.dpuf


Being in your twenties

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start
realizing that there are many things about yourself that
you didn't know and may not like.You start feeling
insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two,
but then get scared because you barely know where you
are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that,
maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close
to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met,
and the people you have lost touch with are some of the
most important ones. What you don't recognize is that
they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty,
mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job... and it is not even close to what
you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are
looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have
to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions
have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and
find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly
you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life
and are constantly adding things to your list of what is
acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure
and then the next, secure.
You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You
feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is
the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear
life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and
further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where
you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you
loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and
wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that
you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love
someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out
why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a
bad person. You want to settle down for good because
now all of a sudden that becomes top priority. Getting
wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.You
begin to think a companion for life is better than a
hundred in the shack and for once you would not mind
standing tall for that special someone which otherwise
you had never thought of until now.
You go through the same emotions and questions over
and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics
because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry
about loans, money, the future and making a life for
yourself... and while winning the race would be great,
right now you'd just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that every one reading this
relates to it.We are in our best of times and our worst of
times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing
out. 
We call it the "Quarter-life Crisis".

...One minute, you are insecure
and then the next, secure...



Happy weekend everyone.
xoxo

Being in your twenties...
It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start
realizing that there are many things about yourself that
you didn't know and may not like.You start feeling
insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two,
but then get scared because you barely know where you
are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that,
maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close
to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met,
and the people you have lost touch with are some of the
most important ones. What you don't recognize is that
they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty,
mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job... and it is not even close to what
you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are
looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have
to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions
have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and
find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly
you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life
and are constantly adding things to your list of what is
acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure
and then the next, secure.
You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You
feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is
the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear
life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and
further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where
you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you
loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and
wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that
you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love
someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out
why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a
bad person. You want to settle down for good because
now all of a sudden that becomes top priority. Getting
wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.You
begin to think a companion for life is better than a
hundred in the shack and for once you would not mind
standing tall for that special someone which otherwise
you had never thought of until now.
You go through the same emotions and questions over
and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics
because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry
about loans, money, the future and making a life for
yourself... and while winning the race would be great,
right now you'd just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that every one reading this
relates to it.We are in our best of times and our worst of
times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing
out. 
We call it the "Quarter-life Crisis".
- See more at: http://www.thisisess.com/2013/08/being-in-your-twenties.html#sthash.dIcUiKfG.dpuf
Being in your twenties...
It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start
realizing that there are many things about yourself that
you didn't know and may not like.You start feeling
insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two,
but then get scared because you barely know where you
are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that,
maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close
to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met,
and the people you have lost touch with are some of the
most important ones. What you don't recognize is that
they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty,
mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job... and it is not even close to what
you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are
looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have
to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions
have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and
find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly
you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life
and are constantly adding things to your list of what is
acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure
and then the next, secure.
You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You
feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is
the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear
life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and
further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where
you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you
loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and
wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that
you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love
someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out
why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a
bad person. You want to settle down for good because
now all of a sudden that becomes top priority. Getting
wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.You
begin to think a companion for life is better than a
hundred in the shack and for once you would not mind
standing tall for that special someone which otherwise
you had never thought of until now.
You go through the same emotions and questions over
and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics
because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry
about loans, money, the future and making a life for
yourself... and while winning the race would be great,
right now you'd just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that every one reading this
relates to it.We are in our best of times and our worst of
times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing
out. 
We call it the "Quarter-life Crisis".
- See more at: http://www.thisisess.com/2013/08/being-in-your-twenties.html#sthash.dIcUiKfG.dpuf
Being in your twenties...
It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start
realizing that there are many things about yourself that
you didn't know and may not like.You start feeling
insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two,
but then get scared because you barely know where you
are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that,
maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close
to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met,
and the people you have lost touch with are some of the
most important ones. What you don't recognize is that
they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty,
mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job... and it is not even close to what
you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are
looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have
to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions
have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and
find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly
you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life
and are constantly adding things to your list of what is
acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure
and then the next, secure.
You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You
feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is
the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear
life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and
further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where
you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you
loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and
wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that
you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love
someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out
why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a
bad person. You want to settle down for good because
now all of a sudden that becomes top priority. Getting
wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.You
begin to think a companion for life is better than a
hundred in the shack and for once you would not mind
standing tall for that special someone which otherwise
you had never thought of until now.
You go through the same emotions and questions over
and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics
because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry
about loans, money, the future and making a life for
yourself... and while winning the race would be great,
right now you'd just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that every one reading this
relates to it.We are in our best of times and our worst of
times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing
out. 
We call it the "Quarter-life Crisis".
- See more at: http://www.thisisess.com/2013/08/being-in-your-twenties.html#sthash.dIcUiKfG.dpuf