Hi,
I am Meg and I have suffered from depression.
I am Meg and I have suffered from depression.
*insert background chorus of people saying Welcome Meg here*
How's that for an intro to a Mental Health Post?
Yes. Depression.
The D word. Not the most commonly talked about 'D' but I digress. Sorry.
Yes. Depression.
The D word. Not the most commonly talked about 'D' but I digress. Sorry.
I am bold enough to say that this beautiful Dream Chasing journey of mine has some dark grey clouds of depression scattered all over it.
I probably put mentioning this at the bottom of the list of things about Meg that I slide into conversations so for some people in my immediate circle reading this, this one may come as a shocker (depending on which side of Meg you buy as the truth). However, step one to recovery is always confession. That's why all those movies you watch with scenes showing AA meetings always have a part where one of the addicts stands up and says.. 'Hi, I'm X and I am an alcoholic'.
I probably put mentioning this at the bottom of the list of things about Meg that I slide into conversations so for some people in my immediate circle reading this, this one may come as a shocker (depending on which side of Meg you buy as the truth). However, step one to recovery is always confession. That's why all those movies you watch with scenes showing AA meetings always have a part where one of the addicts stands up and says.. 'Hi, I'm X and I am an alcoholic'.
Anyway back to the issue at hand. Depression. It is a disease and it is real. Like every other condition it varies from person to person. For some it is full blown. Remember Robin Williams and how it led to the death of one of the world's best comics? For others it is like an annoying seasonal allergy. Always present, ready to attack at the slightest trigger but never serious enough to require a serious external intervention, only requiring a little correction and time to fix. It is this and everything in between. So maybe I am not wrong to say that everybody at some point has had to deal with it. It could have been because of a devastating break up, a lifestyle change or friends that had you going down the wrong path. At some point, we all have that one moment when it took a little extra effort to get out of bed in the morning and no it was not just because of the all-nighter you pulled.
I could go on and on about my history but the internet isn't big enough to accommodate that post so let me put it simply. It is not a past I want to go back to. Simply because giving in to sadness every day means missing out on the best that life has to offer. Every day I spent waking up and counting the hours till I could get back in bed again meant another day not being mesmerized by a beautiful sunrise, not exerting myself enough during the day therefore missing out on the rewards of my labour and finally watching the sun set and realizing it was another day well wasted. And that is where depression becomes a real bitch because that feeling, that sad feeling at the end of the day gives birth to more regret which means another reason for you to curse the start of a new day and the cycle continues all over again.
This cycle can continue endlessly until a point is reached where your mind snaps back to its senses( if you are lucky to reach this point on your own).
But there is hope for me, for you and for everybody who feels like they are almost at the end of their road or are getting there.
Kindly note what I offer does not help to cure it completely. The truth is I am too much of an amateur to guide you on that but I will leave some useful links at the end that can help you get to this point of recovery. Additionally I think some personality types are prone to depression so the dark cloud never really goes away. I am a melancholic. Basically the queen of bottling things inside and not fully opening up to others. In fact it gets so bad sometimes that the people around me only find out about things that were killing me slowly inside months maybe years after it happens. So this list especially applies to people like me and anyone who is about to reach that point of going down the dark cloud path. Once again I am no professional so if I am wrong, do not take my word as the gospel truth. Instead research and talk to the experts.
So my 8 actions to break the cycle are...
This cycle can continue endlessly until a point is reached where your mind snaps back to its senses( if you are lucky to reach this point on your own).
But there is hope for me, for you and for everybody who feels like they are almost at the end of their road or are getting there.
Kindly note what I offer does not help to cure it completely. The truth is I am too much of an amateur to guide you on that but I will leave some useful links at the end that can help you get to this point of recovery. Additionally I think some personality types are prone to depression so the dark cloud never really goes away. I am a melancholic. Basically the queen of bottling things inside and not fully opening up to others. In fact it gets so bad sometimes that the people around me only find out about things that were killing me slowly inside months maybe years after it happens. So this list especially applies to people like me and anyone who is about to reach that point of going down the dark cloud path. Once again I am no professional so if I am wrong, do not take my word as the gospel truth. Instead research and talk to the experts.
So my 8 actions to break the cycle are...
1. Pray.
God first always. My views on religion are liberal but over the years prayer has become an integral part of my routine. Prayer fixes things and when you are down only divine intervention can pull you up. Even if it is just a simple 'Hi God, I am sad help me.' That can change everything if said in true vulnerability and faith. I pray when I am happy, I pray when I am mad and scared I will do something stupid and most importantly I pray immediately I feel that anxiety creeping in. And FYI anxiety is a major trigger for me. This leads me to number 2...
God first always. My views on religion are liberal but over the years prayer has become an integral part of my routine. Prayer fixes things and when you are down only divine intervention can pull you up. Even if it is just a simple 'Hi God, I am sad help me.' That can change everything if said in true vulnerability and faith. I pray when I am happy, I pray when I am mad and scared I will do something stupid and most importantly I pray immediately I feel that anxiety creeping in. And FYI anxiety is a major trigger for me. This leads me to number 2...
2. Know your triggers
As mentioned one of my triggers is anxiety which usually is because of change. Change makes me nervous and when I am nervous I can't think. I just want to hide and pray it goes away and leaves me untouched. Why knowledge of your triggers is important is because by knowing what makes you go into sad mode you are able to prepare for it and position yourself mentally to deal with it instead of letting it eat you up. A good example is if break ups are your trigger. By knowing this you will enter a relationship more self aware and if life happens and you break up well, you are likely to find a little energy somewhere to deal with this positively because you know clearly what will happen if you don't. For me and the whole anxiety thing, well, I am learning to embrace positivity and seeing the bright possibilities that come with change instead of the negative. This has given me the confidence to embrace it more instead of you know hiding away. Which leads me to point 3...
As mentioned one of my triggers is anxiety which usually is because of change. Change makes me nervous and when I am nervous I can't think. I just want to hide and pray it goes away and leaves me untouched. Why knowledge of your triggers is important is because by knowing what makes you go into sad mode you are able to prepare for it and position yourself mentally to deal with it instead of letting it eat you up. A good example is if break ups are your trigger. By knowing this you will enter a relationship more self aware and if life happens and you break up well, you are likely to find a little energy somewhere to deal with this positively because you know clearly what will happen if you don't. For me and the whole anxiety thing, well, I am learning to embrace positivity and seeing the bright possibilities that come with change instead of the negative. This has given me the confidence to embrace it more instead of you know hiding away. Which leads me to point 3...
3. Positivity all around.
As cliché as this sounds embrace positive thinking. Not just in theory but in the way you live. A simple way to do this is by always countering a negative thought with a happy positive thought. For example for every time you make a mistake and think, 'I am so stupid I mess everything'. Follow that up by thinking and saying to yourself, 'All experts started somewhere and I am just following the same path.' Now let that simple thought keep running through your mind even if somebody makes you feel otherwise. Somewhere along the way you will start to believe it. Even when you are feeling down just sitting quietly, allow yourself to see beyond where you are by reminding yourself that happiness will come and you, just like everyone, else deserve it.
As cliché as this sounds embrace positive thinking. Not just in theory but in the way you live. A simple way to do this is by always countering a negative thought with a happy positive thought. For example for every time you make a mistake and think, 'I am so stupid I mess everything'. Follow that up by thinking and saying to yourself, 'All experts started somewhere and I am just following the same path.' Now let that simple thought keep running through your mind even if somebody makes you feel otherwise. Somewhere along the way you will start to believe it. Even when you are feeling down just sitting quietly, allow yourself to see beyond where you are by reminding yourself that happiness will come and you, just like everyone, else deserve it.
4. Remember the good times.
Depression is a dark cloud that keeps us from seeing all the color that exists in the world. But you know what happens to a dark cloud when a ray of sunshine penetrates it?It breaks.
So do that. Take a minute to look at old pictures of you smiling or re-read a text or email that had you blushing for hours on end. Do it. Do not think about it just do it. Scroll through your social media pages and look at that selfie where you were looking all sexy. Take a minute to go through that stupid video you and your friends made that time you went on that roadtrip and it was happiness, (a little intoxication) and good memories all around. That person you see looking back at you who seemed so alive and full of joy is still somewhere inside you, you just need to let a little more of the sunshine in. This post was partly inspired by this app I discovered and am loving called Happy Me. It is a diary app that helps you keep track of your happiness level by allowing you to write important things about those days e.g who you spent it with, what you achieved, ate etc. It helps create a log which you can refer to the next time you need to remember the last time you felt on top of the world and what could have caused it. Plus its free and uses up little memory. In my opinion remembering the good times does not get any easier than this.
Depression is a dark cloud that keeps us from seeing all the color that exists in the world. But you know what happens to a dark cloud when a ray of sunshine penetrates it?It breaks.
So do that. Take a minute to look at old pictures of you smiling or re-read a text or email that had you blushing for hours on end. Do it. Do not think about it just do it. Scroll through your social media pages and look at that selfie where you were looking all sexy. Take a minute to go through that stupid video you and your friends made that time you went on that roadtrip and it was happiness, (a little intoxication) and good memories all around. That person you see looking back at you who seemed so alive and full of joy is still somewhere inside you, you just need to let a little more of the sunshine in. This post was partly inspired by this app I discovered and am loving called Happy Me. It is a diary app that helps you keep track of your happiness level by allowing you to write important things about those days e.g who you spent it with, what you achieved, ate etc. It helps create a log which you can refer to the next time you need to remember the last time you felt on top of the world and what could have caused it. Plus its free and uses up little memory. In my opinion remembering the good times does not get any easier than this.
5. Let the pain out.
I said this post has a bias towards melancholics whose first instinct when they sense pain is to retreat so this one is even more for them. If talking never seems to fix the pain maybe because you find it hard to express yourself verbally then, create away your pain. This means draw, write, paint; whatever. Hey, even if playing a sad ballard on the piano will make you feel better play away honey. Just do not to keep the pain inside. Even if what you create is far from the masterpieces you are known for, don't worry, no one has to see or hear it, just let that pain outside in the best melancholic way you know how and get back to creating your usual amazing work. Also if sports is your thing go ahead: play till the last bead of sweat drops and drops the stress with it too. At this point I recommend crying. I know sometimes this is not always easy especially if you are past that point of tears and feel numb but try it. If the tears wont come, peel an onion or watch the Titanic, whatever that can help trigger the tearducts and once the torrent comes.. PLEASE DO NOT STOP IT UNTIL YOU ARE DONE. This helps get rid of those stress hormones and your body will thank you.
I said this post has a bias towards melancholics whose first instinct when they sense pain is to retreat so this one is even more for them. If talking never seems to fix the pain maybe because you find it hard to express yourself verbally then, create away your pain. This means draw, write, paint; whatever. Hey, even if playing a sad ballard on the piano will make you feel better play away honey. Just do not to keep the pain inside. Even if what you create is far from the masterpieces you are known for, don't worry, no one has to see or hear it, just let that pain outside in the best melancholic way you know how and get back to creating your usual amazing work. Also if sports is your thing go ahead: play till the last bead of sweat drops and drops the stress with it too. At this point I recommend crying. I know sometimes this is not always easy especially if you are past that point of tears and feel numb but try it. If the tears wont come, peel an onion or watch the Titanic, whatever that can help trigger the tearducts and once the torrent comes.. PLEASE DO NOT STOP IT UNTIL YOU ARE DONE. This helps get rid of those stress hormones and your body will thank you.
6. Talk.
If all else fails talk. If you are of the more social temperaments, this should be number 2 on your list. But if not, talking is that one thing that you should try as a last resort because it is likely to add more stress especially if the people you talk to are not within your precious circle of trust. One thing for sure is it fixes things but I think melancholics heal from the inside and this concept might be a little hard to understand. At least for me it sometimes is but it is true. Sometimes a problem shared is a problem half solved. So for a melancholic, find that one person whose general aura sits well with you. Ideally someone who you feel you can trust or who has accepts you and all your silence. If they respect your silence, then they will embrace your words so talk it out.
If all else fails talk. If you are of the more social temperaments, this should be number 2 on your list. But if not, talking is that one thing that you should try as a last resort because it is likely to add more stress especially if the people you talk to are not within your precious circle of trust. One thing for sure is it fixes things but I think melancholics heal from the inside and this concept might be a little hard to understand. At least for me it sometimes is but it is true. Sometimes a problem shared is a problem half solved. So for a melancholic, find that one person whose general aura sits well with you. Ideally someone who you feel you can trust or who has accepts you and all your silence. If they respect your silence, then they will embrace your words so talk it out.
7. Give yourself a time out.
Stop what you are doing and rest. Now. If you feel that little tinge of sadness and self pity crawling in, give yourself a break. Take a walk, grab a HEALTHY snack, lock yourself in a little room alone and allow your mind to go blank for a little bit. If you are in a position to take a power nap, do it. Just do not let this be the starting point for you to wallow in bed all day. Let the break instead allow you to relax, de-stress, de-clutter your mind and heart. If people are the ones making you go down the dark path, break away from them for a little while to recover and get your energy right. Remember the cliché saying.. 'Depressed? Deep rest is best.'
Stop what you are doing and rest. Now. If you feel that little tinge of sadness and self pity crawling in, give yourself a break. Take a walk, grab a HEALTHY snack, lock yourself in a little room alone and allow your mind to go blank for a little bit. If you are in a position to take a power nap, do it. Just do not let this be the starting point for you to wallow in bed all day. Let the break instead allow you to relax, de-stress, de-clutter your mind and heart. If people are the ones making you go down the dark path, break away from them for a little while to recover and get your energy right. Remember the cliché saying.. 'Depressed? Deep rest is best.'
8. Whatever you do DO NOT GIVE IN.
Cry. Scream. Beg. Even bleed. Whatever you do, do not let sadness win. Depression is like a vacuum. At the slightest opportunity it can suck you in so do not give in. Fight. Fight for your right to smile. Fight for your right to be happy.
Wake up and make a concious decision not to let the negativity control you.
Sometimes all it takes to finally silence those depression demons is that resolve to be happy each and every day.
Cry. Scream. Beg. Even bleed. Whatever you do, do not let sadness win. Depression is like a vacuum. At the slightest opportunity it can suck you in so do not give in. Fight. Fight for your right to smile. Fight for your right to be happy.
Wake up and make a concious decision not to let the negativity control you.
Sometimes all it takes to finally silence those depression demons is that resolve to be happy each and every day.
I hope I have helped in anyway. Like I said, I'm no expert. I'm just a girl with a blog who has had to battle this thing one too many times until I said I'm done with this shit, I need my smiles back.
--- Links that can help...
Very useful site.. http://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/dealing-with-depression.htm
all images used are from Pinterest.
