The Reflection Edition: 4/4

So for the final post in the series I was a bit unsure what to write about. In her blog, Tabitha only gave 3 sets of questions so I'm not sure where to take this. But it would be wrong to reflect without giving thanks.

Gratitude is important, everything that happens, happens because it was meant to. I believe in timing and sometimes life has this way of making sure her timing is always right. So give thanks: for the happy times, for the bad times, for everything in between.
Do you pray? Thank God for letting you see this year. If you count your blessings you will realise that life is where it all starts.

So here is my list of 22 things I am thankful for, randomly listed because choosing a number one would be way too hard:

1. My mother.
Because she is the only one I got. My cheerleader, provider, confidant and basically everything.
2. My brother.
We may have two very conflicting personalities. I probably will never fully get him and him me, but he is blood. And I am glad he is around.
3. My special friend (whose name I shall change to Mufasa lol).
He is pretty much one of the very few people whose opinion on my writing MATTERS heavily. I value the input he has added to my work and lately his friendship. I am also thankful for the random times I'd be having a bad day and a text from him, who was initially an acquantaince, would come through telling me how he thinks my work is pretty amaze-balls. People like him keep my flame burning because my desire in life is to be able to touch someone with my words. So thank you for being a pretty amazing human Mufasa :-D:-D
4. All the people who read my work.
I am thankful for everyone who dropped by my posts both here, on my other home Messed Up Too and even on the Story Moja Festival blog. I value feedback. And nothing put a smile on my face more than an email showing a new like or comment. Thank you for reading.
5. Friends, old and new.
I made some pretty awesome girlfriends this year. And I am thankful for lunch dates and conversations and basically having people willing to share a little bit of them with me.
6. The Story Moja Festival 2015.
When I applied to be a blogger for the festival I did not know what I was getting into. I just knew I wanted to write and to meet people as equally in love with writing as I am. It proved to be that and so much more, for the first time I found my people and I learnt so much and had such a phenomenal time being a part of that team.
7. My internship.
I talked about it before and even now I still cant believe how blessed I was to work in that company. I gained a new kind confidence as well as valuable career experience and basically it was a great time.
8.The places I have been to.
I haven't travelled that much this year. In fact the only major out of town place I went to was Amboseli. But I am still grateful for all the new places within the city that I dicscovered because they were all really beautiful. I'm a lover of nature, and even things as simple as going to the outskirts of Nairobi made all the difference in terms of helping me clear my head.
9. School.
I know it is easy to take the ability to learn for granted but I am glad that this year I never had to miss a class because of lack of fees. Education is power and I believe no knowledge ever goes to waste so for finishing yet another academic year peacefully, I am super thankful.
10. My blogs.
I started blogging to keep my writing talent alive. But as I kept at it, it became my platform to vent and to just let my mind race freely. What I love are the opportunities it creates: being able to confidently say that 'yes I am a writer', to the conversations it sparks. Blogging is definitely one of my highlights of this year. I am also thankful for my writing-the one thing I was always sure I could do, the one thing that makes me awesome :-)
11. Clothes.
I am not a fashionista but there is something about dressing up that always has a way of instantly uplifting my moods. So I think fashion is something to celebrate because at the end of the day once you look good, you gain a confidence that can help you conquer anything. 
12. Protection.
This is something I do not take for granted. There has been so much insecurity lately, in Kenya and around the world so I am thankful that through it all, me and mine were kept safe and I haven't lost anyone this year.
13. Books that changed my life.
Pen will always be mightier than sword. In my world at least. This year I read so many books and blogs that touched my heart. The biggest winner of course is Steve Chbosky's The Perks of Being a Wallflower. I also read the Hunger Games trilogy and the 7 People You Meet in Heaven which I think were some pretty amazing pieces of work.
This is the year I also discovered my favorite mordern age poets-Nayyirah Waheed, Rupi Kaur, Warsan Shire, Tapiwa Mugabe and Yrsa Daley Ward. Their words go straight to my soul and I was blessed to discover that kind of beauty.

14. Great restaurants.
I don't have a particular favourite place but I do have a favourite food so as far as food is concerned this year I'm thankful for FRENCH FRIES because fries=happiness :))

15. Jack my hairdresser and the ladies that do my braids.
As a lady I think it is key to have someone who helps keep your mane tamed. That for me is Jack who is an expert at processing hair and keeping these roots straightened. Also the ladies who have been braiding my hair since I was 7, mad love for them because they are awesome people.❤

16. My extended family.
We may not always see eye to eye but I am glad I have them. Family is everything

17. Home.
Nothing beats coming to your little place at the end of a long day and I do not take that for granted.
I am thankful that I have a place I can call my shelter.

18. Good health.
Surprisingly I haven't been that sick this year, except for a little cough I caught sometime earlier this year.
I certainly do not deserve it but the fact that I have barely seen the corridors of a hospital this year is something amazing.

19. All the lessons I have learnt this year.
I've grown. I can say that for sure. I am a little wiser even in the least of ways. I understand that letting go is a process and that it will hurt. I have learnt that fear is a bad thing and I am learning to stand my ground.
I am not the same person I was when I started this year. And the fact that I have grown is something I can celebrate.

20. Answered prayers.
I guess when time passes it is easy to forget those things that had our hearts in a storm but which somehow got fixed. I believe in praying over every little thing and for every little thing that was fixed because I prayed, well I thank God.

21.The internet.
There is a world of possibility out there. I know it sounds cliche but there is and this wonderful creation called the internet has helped link me to everything. And well that is amazing. From Cat videos, to phenomenal blogs to great music and even outfit inspiration, the internet is definitely one of the reasons I am happy to be alive in this era.

22. Turning 22.
It has been so much. I don't think I could write it all. I am glad I got to live to see my 22nd year. Not everyone made it this far and every day I am learning not to take that for granted.

Well I guess that's it. Possibly my last post of the year.
I thank God for everything.
And I thank Him for 2016, whatever it holds.

Have a blessed 2016 and thank you for dropping by. I would also love to know what you are thankful for :)

Love and light,
Me ❤

The Reflection Edition: 3/4

In between eating, making food and waiting to feel hungry again so I can eat I genuinely have not had time to finish up on this series because, well, Christmas.
Hope yours was beautiful too btw.

But I am back again to finish off what I started...

So

1. Do you have a female icon that you look upto? If so, who would that be and why?
For this particular year I'll pick Tabitha from of course Craving Yellow. An African Woman living in the diaspora, I feel she embodies what the mordern African Woman is all about: educated, stylish, bold and confident in her own skin. Her natural hair is errthaaang!!!! Lord knows the number of times I scroll through her Instagram and want to just go have the Big Chop and start all over again. In the past few months I have also found a lot of light in her self portraiture series posts, particularly this one. Her words are uplifting and I think that's why I'd pick her as my icon this year.

2. What do you do to chill out, say over the weekend or after work/school?
I nap. In fact, I take very long naps. I'm that good in bed.. I can sleep for hours!!

3. What's your greatest value in life? (Patience, Selflessness etc)
Kindness. It's something I respect. It is a virtue I want to build. In a world where it's all about chasing your individual happiness, the ability to give your love, time, self and resources is something I truly value and I hope to cultivate this more as I get older.

4. If you could improve one area of your life, what would it be and why?
I'd improve who I am socially.
I guess I still haven't changed much from the socially awkward teen I was. Which sucks. I feel I could do better at opening up to people and building solid meaningful friendships. And next year I want to work on not being so scared around new people and strengthening the few ties I have.

5. What's your favourite online shop?
The online shopping bug is still yet to hit me. But I would sincerely like to thank my local thrift market, TOI, for keeping me fly on a serious budget this year. Mad love to it❤

The Reflection Edition : 2/4

Okay so now we are live with part 2.

1. Name one person in your life that has made all the difference this year.
Mum. Just because she is every super hero ever invented and soo so much more. My woman. My super woman.

2. What aspect about yourself have you grown to love this year?
My booody. I am perfect. Even with my size 10 feet and barely A cup and tiger stripes on my behind. I love me. Soo so much.

3. What is your absolute favourite movie or series of the year?
Power. Because Omari Hardwick. Enough said.

4. What's been difficult this year? What/Whom have you lost?
Letting go of some pretty strong bonds. It took a lot. Soo many tears and wondering if I did the right thing letting these people go. But sometimes we let go so we move on. And I know that they had to leave for a reason.

5. What are your holy grail beauty products of the year?
Arimis Jelly. Do not judge! But honestly it is the best 85 shs I ever spent. Super mild and super moisturing. I recommend it for smooth hands and feet though some people swear by its Acne healing ability.
Also Matte  Red Lipstick. The bolder the better. I mean you just cannot not have a nice liquid matte lippie to brighten even the dullest of days.

Love,
Me. ❤

The Reflection Edition: 1/4

This blog suffers from one thing: neglect. I guess that can be blamed on the blog for the equally as messed up. But I thought that as I end this year, the least I could do is come back to where it all started and reflect on what chasing dreams felt like in 2015.

It's been a good year. Scratch that. It has been a very good year. And I am thankful for all the epic shit I did, beautiful people I met and unforgettable memories I made. Even for the lows that colored some days dark, I am still thankful for those too.
So to celebrate another year chasing dreams I thought to follow the prompts that Craving Yellow is using in her blog here to talk about everything that this year was and wasn't as I look forward to 2016.
So here goes...
PART 1 OF 4

1. What was your happiest moment this year?
Sooo many. I travelled, made new friends, worked hard, drank (clear liquids lol) and enjoyed every minute. 
I discovered my comfort zone and then the place right outside and the experiences that came with saying 'why not' instead of 'why' filled me with so much life.
Basically this year, those were the moments I enjoyed, those moments I made a concious decision to LIVE.

2. What significant transition have you made this year?
Moving into that unknown zone outside my place of comfort. That statement captures so much because it doesn't just mean doing daring things. It meant walking away from relationships that were more exhausting than uplifting despite that lonely feeling that follows. It meant something as simple as saying hello to strangers because ignoring them was way too easy. It meant taking risks. That wasnt easy but making those changes were some of the best decisions I have made this year.

3. What new food did you discover this year?
Steers Fries. Because they are life. And I frankly dont know what else. I am still yet to perfect some recipes so I cant post about that. But yeah. Fries. Not because they are anything new. But because fries=life :-D

4. What book/author/blogger did you find super informative this year, and why?
This one I'd say my Nayyirah, Warsan and Yrsa. Because their various anthologies: Salt and Nejma, Teaching my Mother to Give Birth and Bone speak to my soul. And they made me fall in love with words again.
And of course Tabitha of Craving Yellow. I am not a Naturalista, still thinking about going that way though but her blog is just amazing and filled with so much love and light it is amazing. ❤❤

5. What new spaces/places did you discover this year?
Amboseli was EPIC. I'd write about it but you know what happens in Vega.. I mean Amboseli stays in Amboseli lol. :D

6. What fear did you overcome this year?
Definitely the fear of trying. I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't tried applying to be a Story Moja Fest blogger. Or if I hadn't tried to go above and beyond to make my internship as fulfilling as it was. I wonder how I would be ending if I hadn't tried hanging out with strangers.
So many beautiful things happened because I said no to that fear.
And that's why I can say this year maybe I did actually do some dream chasing. And I got a little bit closer

So how has 2015 been for you?
Comment, email or even blog about it and tag me or drop a link.
You can use the questions above or add your own.
I just hope as you reflect you may find beauty worth celebrating and more reasons to be thankful for this year.
Love and light,
Me ❤

P.S next post coming up tomorrow :)

Shimba. Lake Nakuru. Mara. Amboseli

The same grey wildebeests with their trendy mohawks
The same zebras wearing their black and white body suits
The same buffalos giving you bitch stares
The same ostriches flaunting their legs for days
The same hyenas lurking around
The same elephants getting their daily mudbaths
The same lions lying lazily like the bosses they are
The same cheetahs that remain ever so hard to spot
The same birds not getting as much attention as the carnivores
The same snake slithering suspiciously into a bush
The same white tourists wearing their binoculars and safari hats
The same bumpy roads winding infinitely in between grass that is fifty shades of green across plains that ceaselessly stretch into hazy hills
The same tour guide telling you when that when you get to that other side you will see more animals
The same burning heat in the same semi-stuffy semi-airconditioned tour van

A new peace that calms the storm each and every single time.

The One about Hershey's Kisses,Mascara, Riley and Energy

The bruising will shatter.

The bruising will shatter into black diamond.

No one will sit beside you in class.

Maybe your life will work.

Most likely it wont at first

but this will give you poetry

from Poetry by Yrsa Daley-Ward.

So here is the thing. I am weird. In fact I am very weird.

I cry at weddings even when I do not know who was getting married. I cry when babies do cute things. That is a recent thing though, I have no idea where that one came from. I cry when I am angry. I cry when something makes me laugh especially when it has been a minute since I actually felt that joy so good you can feel it in all your nerves. I cry when I am stressed. I cry when I am overwhelmed- for this I reference my final year Undergraduate Research Project. Enough said. Also I cry on my period. Now that is the crazy one because at that point anything can have me on full out torrent of tears mode- even chocolate. Chocolate, certain times a month can send me into a full out storm. Can you imagine that?

And well I used to feel that this was something to be ashamed of.  Pre-puberty I thought my sadness was something to be ashamed so I’d cry and feel bad about it and then cry some more because I feel bad. But then puberty happened and the fear about feeling things got worse so I learnt not to cry in public which made me sort of hide it by this glass wall of nothingness. Which isn’t exactly a good thing because that made me very snappy. You can only hide behind glass walls for so long after all.

But then the beauty about growing up is the knowledge of self I have gained over the years.

Post puberty I have become aware of the things that make me cry. And as the days pass I am starting bit by bit not to be ashamed of them. See, I feel things way too much.That is just how I was wired. Also I am a leo. We are the kings of feelings. Literally. I am affected by negative things. I feel the sadness and have this tendency to smell it and live it from miles away even before it lands. I feel anger. I feel envy sometimes and I also feel insecurity a lot of the times. And these make me cry because they are bad energy and the thing about bad energy is that it needs to be let out.

But then I also feel happiness. I get excited about things way before they happen and I am over the moon. And then when happiness finally comes, MY GAAD it is unbelievable. Sometimes I even lack sleep because I am just up basking in the beauty of that joy. And most times I smile. I smile a lot and I get jumpy- some one told me I am like a bunny on steroids because of how I jump all over the place. And I love that feeling when I I get to let the sunshine out. Because positivity is good energy and good energy is uncontainable.

And then sometimes I am just numb. And maybe sometimes the numbness is because of not fully allowing myself to release the bad energy or to bask in the good energy. And that is not okay because these emotions were put inside me so they can be felt. In feeling them is the opportunity to let go and letting go creates that lightness needed to move on with life and continue enjoying it.

I am at this point where I am aware that being an adult sucks. I hate the responsibilities and having to act some way just because it’s the right thing to do. I honestly miss that ability to do whatever the fuck I want just because I am child and whatever! But my favorite part about being an adult is this knowledge of self I keep gaining. As I get older I am aware of how I feel. I may not fully understand why I feel it but I know. And now that I know I am not scared of feeling the way I do. In fact I am learning to be proud of this ability to feel things a little more than everyone else. Lately I have been rocking it. I am a writer and I have realized that part of the reason why this writing thing works for me is that I get to express these very intense feelings. And after taking my writing a bit more seriously this year, I now know that some of my best work comes from that very intense place of writing. So watch this uber-emotional space. That Caine Prize story is just hidden there waiting to be uncovered and I cannot wait to find it.

I am also learning to protect my energy and the people I let near it. Not everyone will understand it or embrace it.  Some people are in your life for a season and others for a reason and there is nothing wrong with letting go of those whose energy seems to conflict with yours. It is not because they are bad people, it’s just because at that time their energy just wasn’t working with yours. I believe time works everything out and if they are truly meant to be in your life then maybe just maybe their energy in its right form will find its way back to yours.

Anyway enough about that. This entire post was inspired by the movie Inside-Out. It is an animation which (and this is no surprise) had me bawling. By the way thank you Maybelline, my mascara actually  stained my pillow case, I should claim a refund because isn’t this shit meant to be waterproof? But I digress. Sorry. See I write a lot about depression and feelings because for me those phenomena are very real. Depression is a fight I know too well and though I know I have won the war, the battles can take their toll. So without divulging too much let me end this by saying that if still you do not understand the concept of some people having days when it takes a little extra effort to get themselves out of bed every morning, well this movie breaks it down in a manner I think even a 10 year old can understand. And also if you are at that point where the Depression Struggle is a little too real, well Baby it is for a season. And this movie will help you understand more and more importantly it may just give you that reassurance to let you finally soak it in and stop fighting it because if you just let the storm pour for just a minute, the sky will clear up and you will be okay. So sweetie watch it too.

Also if I wasted your time making you read the preceding 1000 words because they do not make sense to you at all, well watch it too. I guarantee you will laugh once or twice.

Basically everyone should just watch the damn movie.

Finally I understand a little more about why I cry. And I understand why for there to be happiness, sadness must prevail. I still do not understand why babies doing cute shit makes me cry. Or why a Hershey’s Cookie and Cream Bar makes me cry on my period. But well each day is a learning experience. We will figure it out one sweet day.  Most importantly I am learning that at the end of it all, I will be okay.

"Take this good advice
If they're gonna judge you for life
Say we can't always be fly
We gon' be good long as them sneakers white
You'll be alright
Said you'll be alright
Said you'll be alright
Said you'll be alright"

The White Shoes- Wale

Image from Google Images

Taking Stock in October:)

I shouldn't be writing this. I have an exam in a few hours. I should read. But look where my very low attention span has me ending up? I apologize for my silence. With the past few weeks trying to keep up with my blogging for the Story Moja Festival and posting content on my new baby I just haven't had time for this site. Also school. School is the reason. For me neglecting this blog. For my stress. For headaches. For global warming. For everything negative including bad WiFi lol :D.

But I hope you, my dear readers are well. I miss you guys. And the occasional sweet comments you tend to leave. I promise a post on how the Story Moja Fest went once I can clear up my schedule a bit. Believe me it was everything and a bag of Awesome Ugandans lol. In the meantime here is a little Taking Post because let's face it you have nothing better to read or why else are you here? 

Enjoy.

And have a month filled with beauty, flowers and dreams coming true.

Love and Light.

Me xoxo.

Cooking: (next question please)

Eating: Alpenliebe sweets. Because caramel just makes me melt :))

Drinking: Water. I can finally finish a litre of that h20 easily and I have been doing this daily for almost 2 weeks now. Yaay me:). I notice the difference too. My legs look great. Yes my legs. Because they are very sensitive to positive changes in my diet. So this is me joining the drink more water bandwagon, try it:))

Reading:Salt by Nayirrah Waheed. Best anthology I have come across, except that one she also wrote called Nejma. And of course Bone by this steaming cup of melanin called Yrsa Daley-Ward which is equally awesome. Poetry is where I find the unspoken words of my soul and those poets are just life!!

I downloaded the three from Kindle thanks to some super amazing offer sometime in September. Loove them.

Wishing:That 18th could get here already. I have a trip I am craazy excited about and I wish we could fast-forward to that time and then let that weekend last forever. Also to blog about it or not? Hmmm.

Enjoying: The sunshine

Dear el nino, please take your sweet sweet time getting here.

Waiting: To do an exam at 2 p.m.

Loving: Some sweetheart people I have been hanging with lately. They may be strangers but they are such sweethearts(although they may be too G to admit it). Love you guys :**

Watching: Nothing. But tomorrow the Love and Hiphop addiction continues after my paper. Also I realized I have a thing for trash TV. Like my new program of interest is E!'s WAGS.

Hoping: That my grades this semester will be decent. Because hoping for perfection is a bit of a stretch. Degrees are hard. Think twice before doing them. Seriously.

Listening: To Miguel's album Wildheart. It is everythaaang! Some of the lyrics are kinda twisted, but you can always skip those tracks right? But his is what I like to think of as whiskey music. The kind of music to get you all zoned out while you sip a little something something on the rocks. And his voice is just soo yummy. I am in love. So so much love.

Wearing:Red lipstick. I feel like I may have a lipstick smudge somewhere though. It's one of those days.

Following: Nayirrah Waheed's instagram. Best poetry page I have come across thus far.

Feeling: Nothing. Like this whole waiting for afternoon papers is not my thing.

all my images from Google.

The one about my birthday.

You missed some things.
You may have missed a few school plays when you had to travel out of the country.
You might have missed my first period, but then again that one wasn't your business.
You even missed out on my first time at Whitesands because you were too busy working hard to pay for it.

But one thing you never missed were my birthdays.
You never missed giving me a very cleverly selected card.
You never missed sharing cake and chocolate.
You never missed seeing my face when I turned a year older.

So thank you.
For being there from the first one.
And for the way you struggled to make sure you were around for the last one I had that you would see.

I understand now why it's never a big deal if anyone else forgets it.
Because once Superman has your back, no one else matters.

I hope I have given you a reason to smile from wherever you are the past year.
I wish you were around to smile with me in the coming one.

But I'll take what I can get.
And for now it is the comforting memory that you might have missed some things.
But my birthday was not one of them.

HER SELFISH YEARS- Part 1

21.

Two decades ago a female clothed in milk chocolate surfaced on this here planet.

A Leo, she embodies some of the strongest traits associated with this zodiac.
She is fire, although sometimes the flame is reduced to a mere glowing ember.
Super sensitive.
She wears her feelings as her favorite accessory and flaunts them through her writing.
As ambitious as they come, she dreams and occasionally, she has been known to follow the dreams like they are her religion.
Sometimes domineering, she doesn't always take the lead but Lord when she does, the other subjects better step aside.
Stubborn she is. But the gods did the world a favor and blessed her with a mild dose of being a liberal. She will take you as you are, if you first do the same for her.
She is vain. And this is the side some of them may see because the pride in her wont let the world see the brokenness she sometimes conceals.

She is fire.

But she breathes ice.

She is sugar.

But in her fantasies, she oozes spice,

She falls into vacuums of grey.
Still, she loves her world colored in shades of everything nice.

And she, she allowed herself to turn twenty one.

She didn't want to.

But then again when did a Leo ever welcome change with open arms?

But then 21 came and brought with it the calming re-assurance that whatever it had in store would be beautiful. One way or the other.

See, she had been nursing some scars but Miss Chocolate Leo became her own muse for the first time. For the first time she came face to face with the ghosts of being un-pretty she had tried so hard to exorcise. She stared at the perceptions that taunted her in the past and said,

"...you know what fuck you. I am beautiful. I will be beautiful and I do not need someone else to define for me what that is."

 She allowed herself to be her own muse. And loved every minute of it.

And then 21 told her there is more. 21 told her she can push the boundaries. So 21 told her to play the realest game of pretend ever. So she entered a real company and played employee despite her gross under-qualification for the post. She learnt confidence. She learnt hard-work. She learnt that bravery is that muscle gained when only after daily practice. She learnt she can be more. She learnt that maybe the whole school thing isn't such a waste of time.

But see 21 wasn't done with her. 21 reminded her of her little star and 21 was the time to let it shine. So she dared to share a platform with the greats. Amateur though she was, 21 told her that by engaging with her kind-overthinkers with a love for words and poetic imagery- she could find a place she can belong. So she did. She dared her little star of talent to shine. She dared to subject herself to editors and deadlines for posts and she fell in love with her gift even more. And while she waits for the world to fall in love with it too,21 told her sometimes the effort to use the gift is more than enough.

21 didn't turn out to be exactly what she wanted it to be, but it surely was infinitely beautiful.

21 had her finding beauty in nature.

21 had her finding beauty in others.

21 had her finding beauty in herself.

21 had her finding beauty in life.

And when she looked beyond everything that 21 was meant to be but wasn't, she realizes that 21 did her just fine,

So here is to 21. To how infinitely beautiful it was.

And to 22-whatever happens it could only get better. Eventually.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR CHOCOLATE LEO, THANK YOU FOR CHOOSING TO HOLD ON A LITTLE LONGER.

xoxo

hbjkbghjuk

Fingers fidgeting on a keyboard.

 

smkldlsajdk

Sometimes The Muse talks to you.

Sometimes He tells you what to say.

Sometimes you wish He could just shut  up.

Sometimes the wells or words seem that they run so deep

You cannot imagine how the well will dry.

But sometimes He goes on holiday.

The mental voice that keeps you breathing goes away.

So what do you do?

dsidhaskdj

If the muse won't talk to you,

then you must talk to him.

Start the dialogue.

Tell him how you really feel.

Tell him what you love about him.

Tell him what you hate.

Tell him what you ate for breakfast.

Tell him what you dreamt about last night.

But if he still won't talk.

Go deeper.

Tell Him about your regrets.

Tell Him about your successes.

And if that doesn't work,

Tell him your deepest darkest secrets.

But if that won't get him to come out of hiding,

You have a weapon.

But use it carefully lest you scare him away forever.

Tell Him about His secrets.

Tell Him everything you know about that place of vulnerability.

That place He wouldn't want the world to know about;

Tell Him how you know about it.

Maybe the honesty will wake Him up.

The muse is an interesting one.

He will only talk if wakened by truth.

MEG'S 5 MORE LESSONS LEARNT FROM HER INTERNSHIP- 2ND TIME AROUND

So, remember when I did this post about what I learnt the first time I dared myself to commit to an internship. It was a very interesting post especially now that I feel I am a totally different person from that girl who was 5ft 8 who wrote that.
Since then I have grown. Literally. I had my BMI checked recently and since then I have added an inch in height and two kilograms in weight which I believe has gone to some desirable areas . *cue Destiny's Child's Bootylicious here*


Aaaanyway.

I really didn't think my recent internship warranted a full post. It has taken a lot to let go of a place I finally felt content in. The past few months I have been in such a good place, revisiting that happiness would mean going through the whole emotional roller-coaster I had when I had to end it all and let go and  believe me doing that shit is hard.

Sometimes I feel that the world as it is is so full of unhappiness it feels like letting go of happiness in pursuit of whatever life holds ahead means exposing yourself to all the bad that comes before the next time you feel happy again and I never feel ready for that. Not now after coming out of a seriously grey moment in my life when I almost went completely under. 

But after reading Miss I's post on how her first day at Google Dublin went I feel inspired to just share a little glimpse of what happy in my life felt like through these lessons I learnt in the past 3 months so here goes..

MEG'S 5 MORE LESSONS LEARNT FROM HER INTERNSHIP- 2ND TIME AROUND

1.No matter how you feel, GET UP DRESS UP NICE AND SHOW UP.

It wasn't easy. Let us start there. Some days especially when you are all new, the thought of showing up each day is scary. The uncertainty around how that day will be and if you are in the right place can be overpowering but I have learnt that there is progress in doing whatever you are called to. Even on those days when everything around is telling you to quit be strong enough to get up, dress up and show up. That's all you have to do. Every thing else will take care of itself just be there.

2. Don't Overthink think it. Just do it.

I reference my previous worry on uncertainty. Sometimes self doubt comes over you like a dark cloud and makes you question everything. But don't do that. The worst that could happen to you at any point is that you will make a mistake and you will learn from it so stop stressing just go ahead and act. And if you fail, remember you can go nowhere but up.

< I apologize for how I just referenced Justin Bieber :))>

3. Take a risk, Take a chance. Make that change.

Yes, I have just quoted Kelly Clarkson but those lyrics really got me through. I learnt to be more confident in the past few weeks than I have in my whole life and I blame my colleague and my mama who told me once that I should just be confident because that's what matters. And as cliche as this sounds, this actually works. Whether it is being confident enough to reach out to that colleague who you know would make a great friend or mentor or approaching that boss so he can give you that assignment that you really know will give you the exposure you need; confidence will take you to heights you never knew you could reach. And along the way you will unlock some levels of strength you never knew you had.

4. Be grateful.

This spirit of thanksgiving is what got me through the hardest goodbye because giving thanks for the time I had was the only thing I could do to show appreciation for the opportunity I received. Every evening I made a conscious decision to tell God thank you and to ask him to remind me never to forget to do so. Any time someone gave me assistance with anything I would always say a little thank you, no matter how insignificant the assistance seemed. I did it simply because the gift of life isn't a guarantee. No one is born entitled to the opportunities that come their way so because all this is a gift that can be taken away, it is only right to recognize the fact that you have been blessed.

5. Lastly, enjoy, make memories and never forget them.

I do not regret any of the moments I had at firm X. I cherish the awkward introductory talk during my first days at work that grew to casual discussions over lunch that grew to taking selfies during sponsored golf tournaments and eventually getting to know strangers better. Those are the moments that made it unforgettable. And there is nothing more comforting than knowing that even if you never see a stranger again, the one thing you are sure you shared is a smile.  Whatever you are going through, take a minute, smile and enjoy whatever element of beauty is in it.

So this was a quickie so I guess that's it. If I could I could list all the names of the beautiful souls I got to work with and a sincere message of gratitude next to the bundles of love and well wishes I would attach I would. But I can't ;((

Instead I will just say dear people of company X where Meg worked recently, thank you for giving me a chance.

And for my dear readers, thank you for reading and I hope the lessons I shared can help you get through whatever you are going through.

Love and light always,

Meg.

Who am I? Really?

I never thought a day would come when my brain would rather think of writing pieces that revolve around me and not about fictional people I wish I knew.
But I guess that's just how it is. One day you love fiction and telling stories about others and the next you become this vain person whose favorite subject is yourself.
So this is me putting it out there that I am vain. Very.
I can spend hours making trips to the mirror just to look at myself and I take only a trillion selfies when I feel pretty.
But the most vain thing about me is that I AM MY OWN MUSE.
Everything about me seems to inspire me to write.
I write about myself when I am in love or lust or something in between.
I write about me when I am sad.
I write about me when I do something good.
I condemn myself when I feel I have not been a very good human being.
I write about my beauty and my insecurities.
I write about my dreams and my feelings.

I write about what I love.
I write about what I hate.
I am insanely fascinated by me so of-course my favorite topic to write about is ME.
Yes, vanity is real. Don't judge me. Or Kanye. Or all the other vain people in the world.
We don't want to be this way but we can't help the fact that we find ourselves so amazing.

But as I write about myself, the one question I constantly grapple with is who I am.

On some days I feel inspired and ready to take on the world, does that make me an alpha type of person? The truth is due to some serious genes I have classic serious Choleric tendencies. Sometimes.
But some days I want to do not a damn thing at all. I want to just sit around watch life pass me by and just be in my lazy happy place, am I hippie? The true phlegmatic. Some days that's who I am and who I wish I could always be.
And sometimes I become this Melancholic Person. The poet inside me prefers quiet,lonely time so that the creative juices can go crazy. That person thrives in silent spaces that allow me to be in touch with my deepest feelings.And I am in love with her.
But some times there is also this wild, full of energy fun-loving persona I become. In fact for some people that is the only person they know because they bring her out. And I love this version too.

And that's where I get confused because society expects us to be one thing and I am these four people and infinite shades of what lies in between so that's why the question comes up, who am I?
Really?

See,what I love about being alive is the fact that each day brings endless possibilities to exist in whichever way seems appropriate at that moment. Life means today I can wake up and decide to be this strong leader commanding the masses to move whichever direction I want and tomorrow I can choose to be the follower hiding unnoticed in the shadows.

Yet society does not appreciate this.

The society we live in insists on putting everyone in these boxes and condemning those who do try to get out of them.
If you are a leader you are expected to be one always even when you do not feel like being one. People do not believe in giving others breaks.
And if you are a bad, you are a branded a bad person even when you do try to be good you can not because the box society puts you in dictates that no good can ever come out of you. Ever.

I may have been a victim of this. And I may also have been a perpetrator of this.
Because at times it is not always easy to accept others for who they are and not treat them differently when they exercise their right to exist freely.
But because I was or can be both does not mean that is who I am.
I am good and bad and happy and sad and pure and impure and all these things. Who I am at one point is not who I will be.

My being is a complex totality of all these things I choose to be and I am happy to live as this complexity.

Everyone has this right too- to be who you were not yesterday and to again be someone totally different tomorrow.
The fact that you are a human being living your life in a way that makes you happy does not mean you are bad. You are just human and the world should respect you for being this.

So again I ask the question, who am I?
Really?
Truth is I don't know.
And I am not even going to try to figure me out.
I am simply Me, Whoever Me is at the moment.

The only thing I am sure of is I have learnt not judge you for being you. So go ahead and do you. Whoever or whatever you want to be at the moment.

<all my pretty images from tumblr and google images>

Taking Stock in Joyful July

Time does go quickly. It's a new month and while a part of me is battling with letting go of the happy feels and memories the last month brought, I also want to celebrate time.

I think the beauty about it is how it has this ability to do so much:
As time passes by, it brings new pain with the same energy that it heals old wounds.
As time passes by, it brings change with the same energy that it shows you how you can also stagnate if you refuse to deal with it.

Change scares me a lot. But the promise of better days to come, better memories and greater love, even though they will come after a lot of pain and hurt, keeps me still open to its scary winds.
So as this month begins, I hope to cling to that promise and I hope you will too.


Happy July beautiful earthlings...

And now for my taking stock post:

Cooking: Tomato soup. I have a recipe which I totally nailed the first time I tried it. Feeling all Gordon Ramsey right now. Tomato soup and fresh bread anybody?

Drinking: Let me lie and say lemon tea. Because I am dreaming of that right now.

Reading:The Husband's Secret by Liane Moriarty. A friend rated it highly so I hope I'll fall in love with it too.

Playing: Colouring. Because I realized I am an eight year old at heart and so I decided to download a coloring app on my phone. Please do not judge me. Please :)

Wishing Grateful: For the gift of everything. I am alive and blessed to be. And I am blessed to have so many beautiful people around me who are literally just diamonds in my life. I thank God for them and for everything. Today let me take a minute to not want but to celebrate.

Enjoying: Life. And the simple things like taking a nice long walk to work with your music playing loud on a cold day. I am starting to feel a little more happier and at peace. Or rather I am starting to embrace a life filled with more positivity and peace. And it feels so good.

Waiting: ummm... for a lot so pass.

Loving: My very damaged but finally starting to grow a bit hair. Shout out to everyone on a hair journey like me.

Watching: Being Mary Jane season 2. There is a plot twist somewhere I really didn't like (read we want David back) but c'est la vie. I am still addicted.

Hoping: That the semester I am about to start will be bearable. At the very least.

Marvelling: At how I have a mother who is the number diamond in my life. Cheers to women who go hard for their children. If it wasn't for the blessing of an old school, loving and hardworking mama, I'm not sure where I'd be. And my daddy too. His legacy still illuminates my life 3 years after his passing. I had and still have the greatest parents ever.

Wearing:Matte red lipstick. I reference my history of being a lipstick junkie :)

Following:A bunch of smart intellectual cookies on twitter. Yes, I decided to join the twitter-verse because apparently that's where all the witty, cool and creative people are. A welcome change from the filth you sometimes can't quite get away from on Facebook. Follow me before I retreat into introverted writer mode and make my account private. I just might follow back.
My handle is  @the_amateurpoet

Feeling: Unsure. But peaceful. Praying in the morning helps by the way.

 

Bookmarking:  One Magunga's blog. Writers like him are the reason I am even more excited for the Story Moja Festival this year. It would be such an honour to meet the brains behind this fantastic site.

Once again, happy July loves. I hope this month will bring nothing but Joy, love, inner peace and every good thing that could possibly happen to you.

One more thing, my quote for the month.....

(all images from Google)

Okay. Bye :-**

Rules for Queens rocking their invisible Tiaras.

Hey you!

You with the pretty smile, despite your little overbite and the skin so flawless it makes the sprinkle of acne look like a million beauty spots.

I write this because I realized you, like me, are a queen. See sometimes even queens need to be reminded of their place. This life game gets a little too complicated and sometimes we forget who we are. When this happens we find that our tiara doesn't seem to sparkle the way it should.
And that isn't right because there is nothing as bad as a royal that goes around unaware of its status.
So fellow royal, let me remind you of a few rules. A few things to do to make sure your sparkle keeps on illuminating the world as it should.

1. Always remember to be thankful.
See our kind of royalty is a privilege. Every day it is a blessing to wake up and exist as a woman specifically a queen. The fact that we were given this body capable of bringing new life to this planet is an honour. That's why we are royalty and we owe it to ourselves to be thankful to the one who crowned us this. So my dear queen be thankful- for life, for health, for food, for family, for friends, for clothes, for your house, for your beautiful body, for the fact that you didn't get hit by a car on your way home, for that colleague who covers for you when you are late, for your cat that makes you happy. Be thankful FOR EVERYTHING SINGLE THING.

2. Always be kind.
Royalty shines brighter because of the brilliant heart inside. Always be kind.  Let the light of your beautiful heart shine through in everything. Give yourself: physically and emotionally and let your kind heart shine goodness into the lives of others.

3. Always look stunning- but do it just for you.
You are royal honey. Vanity is allowed. So don't be afraid to spend an hour doing your makeup in the morning and a fortune on your hair. And feel free to take a million selfies after ( say yes to the filter btw). Why? Because what's wrong with letting the outside match the inside as long as you are doing it to make yourself happy. And if high maintenance is not your thing, don't let anyone stop you. If you are having an oversized t-shirt and messy hair kind of day, that's cool too. Whether your style is simple and conservative or tattoos and piercings type of edgy and everything in between, you need to learn to rock that image happily. You owe no one an apology for the choices you make concerning your appearance because it is your body and you have the right to choose how you want it to appear.

4. Wear every colour- except green.
Honestly, a real queen has no reason to feel intimidated by another. Therefore thou shall not ever perceive another royal and feel jealous. Those are her blessings, do not feel obliged to count them on her behalf. Understand that every queen is on her own journey, you have no business offering anything but support and love to her.

5. Own and enjoy your femininity.
Just because you are a modern day fire spitting feminist does not mean you have any less of a right to act like a female and expect males to be okay with that. You have a right to be a woman because you are one. There is nothing wrong with being unashamedly proud of your feminine curves and having maternal dreams. There is nothing wrong with being a hopeless romantic. There is nothing wrong with expecting the male in your household to take the lead. There is nothing embarrassing about your menstrual period and expecting the people in your life to always be ready to do those Buscopan and tampon buying rounds when the cycle pain gets crazy. There is nothing wrong with expecting gentlemen to open doors for you and walk on the side closer to the road when walking on the side walk with you. It is not a sign of weakness. It just means you love your status and the benefits that come with it.

6. Be a sexual being, just don't let everybody know about it.
Chimamanda, one of ultimate queens observes that girls are raised to believe that they aren't supposed to be sexual beings in the same way men are. I concur with her. That mentality is utter BS. I think a queen owes no one an apology for the choices she makes with regards to this. If you want to be celibate and save your little gift for the right one, go you! Don't let social media tell you this isn't cool. But if you choose to play with it like Max from +2 Broke Girls, go ahead do you. Queen's advice: don't go advertising your goodies everywhere. Your sexuality is your a personal choice and a real queen is DISCRETE.

7.  Play hard. Work Harder.
The honest fact is the glass ceiling still exists even for queens like us. So the only way to smash through it is to work as hard as the same kings we work with or even harder. The life of your dreams won't just come to you on a silver platter. This isn't the movies. So work hard. Have a dream and fight tooth and nail to achieve it.

8. Have your people. And make it a point to show them that you love them everyday.
A queen is a queen because of the fellow kings and queens who keep her sane enough to keep at this life thing every single day. A queen is a queen because of her sisters( by blood and by choice) who stood by her when she was down and helped her get back up. A queen is a queen because of the brothers( again by blood and by choice) who have been there for her, protect her and constantly remind her how she should be treated by a King. Therefore a queen knows not to take these people for granted and she makes it a priority to show them her eternal love and friendship every single day.

9. Know yourself and fall in love with yourself.
Queens know better than to seek approval from others. They know that they can only accept and love others if they know and accept themselves. So always take time to know yourself dear queen. Spend time reflecting on your thoughts, why you act the way you do and generally who you are.Take care of that person physically, mentally, emotionally and physically.  Learn to love that person and in loving that person always strive to improve that person. Learn to fall in deep unconditional love with that person and never let anyone question that unending confidence and belief you have in that queen.


and lastly number 10.

10. Always remember to wear that invisible tiara. 
Wear it because you are proud to be that queen you were born to be. Wear it so that you always have that confidence to face whatever life will hit you in the face with. Wear it because you are unique and are unashamedly proud of your individuality. Wear it because you are royal and you deserve the best that life can offer.
Wear it and do that Naomi Campbell strut as you go through life with your head held high looking gorgeous and confident in who you are. 
Wear it because you owe not a damn person an apology for being YOU.

Love and light,

M, a fellow queen.

(all my awesome images are sourced from google images)

Charlie Made Me Cry.

I write this post feeling very emotional as I struggle to conceal my balancing tears from my workmates.
Yes, I know tears and the office have no place together but I have finished my tasks for the day and I'm just stalling because I'd rather enjoy the free wifi for a bit than walk alone because everyone isn't finished yet.
Anyway back to business.

I am 8 pages away from finishing Stephen Chbosky's 'The perks of being a wallflower'.
 So if anyone is wondering why, it is because of Charlie. Yes Charlie. And Sam. But mostly Charlie.

Therefore today's post is about Charlie and hugs.
Mostly hugs.

Have you ever needed a hug?

Like, have you ever found yourself feeling so broken or scared or alone?
Have you ever had moments when the material things didn't matter because the kind of low you were feeling opened your eyes to how it is all an illusion.

I wrote earlier about how pain makes one a philosopher. But have you ever been too shattered to even contemplate this- the kind of broken that leaves you feeling like you are just floating in space and you aren't even sure what anything is anymore?

Well, if you haven't feel free. Close this page. I promise my next post will be much happier, I might even include a cat video or something.

But if you have, well let me ask you one thing, have someone ever given you a hug at this precise moment?
In the midst of you feeling like you are shattering into three million pieces like a piece of thin glass, has anybody just perceived you and just reached out and literally held you together?
Probably they did it because they were meant to. Or even better they don't usually do such things but maybe it was some unknown external force that touched them and miraculously made their hands curve around your body and suddenly you were able to keep it together.
How did it feel?

Did you suddenly feel lighter than doing 4 hours daily at the gym for a year could ever make you feel?

If your answer to at least most of the above questions is yes, then you know what the sheer power of this act is.
I could give you a definition of what a hug is but let me explain it to you with one simple phrase:

hug= the magical glue that keeps people from crumbling into a million pieces when they feel more fragile than a sheet of ice.

This simple act. I have no idea what magic it contains but whatever it has, it heals everything. 

Maybe it is like the universal symbol of love. It can't be a kiss because Jesus was betrayed with one but a hug? A hug is the way an African parent who does not know how to show emotion can tell you after 16 years in this horrid education system of ours that they are proud of you.

A hug is the way a baby whose vocabulary is underdeveloped tells her mummy that she appreciates the way she takes care of her. A hug is the one simple act that speaks volumes where words can't. That's why people hug at funerals because it's the only way to communicate togetherness in the wake of this unsolvable mystery called death.

A hug means 'I love you.'A hug means 'I may not understand what you are going through but I am here and for now I hope that is enough reason to keep it together a little longer.'

 A hug is sometimes the difference between 'I don't want to live anymore' and 'I think I'll give this life thing a shot just one more time.'

A hug can save a life.

I realized this one time when the security situation in this country and in my neighbourhood had got so bad and I came home and I found this police officer walking around boldly with a gun and I just lost it because at the time we weren't really sure if the same officers were behind the whole insecurity issue in my neighbourhood. See, if you can't feel safe in the one place you have called home for over 10 years where can you be safe?

I entered the house and went full out crying. But my mummy dearest in all her motherly patience held me tight and for that split second in between letting out this torrent of I tears I finally felt that even though the world is a scary place, one way or the other everything will be okay.

And it was like I could breathe again for the first time.

That's how powerful a hug can be. And do not even let me go on about how the millions of hugs kept me sane that time my dad was sick and I'd go to school not sure if I would ever see him again. Maybe that's how even though I went under for a while, I never really lost my it because somehow the millions of hugs I got kept me together.

Back to Charlie, everytime I read about him I want to give him three hundred million hugs. I guess maybe because he is at this stage where he feels all alone and sometimes even those close to him never really get him and that makes me feel sad. 

And Charlie is so sensitive and feels emotions in a very deep and powerful way. 

Honestly, Charlie is kind of broken and messed up.

But then again aren't we all? The only difference is some of us have a wide circle of friends who are equally messed up and broken in their own way so we get to bond over that as we support each other in our messed up brokenness. Charlie doesn't have that luxury and that makes me sad. Sometimes when I see how he is about to fall apart I wish so hard that I could hug him and hold him together  but I can't so I just cry quietly with him instead and forget about my own messed up and brokenness.

That sounds kind of fucked up right? 

Well tell me something that isn't new.

Anyway I know you have a Charlie in your life. Or maybe you see someone with Charlie-ish tendencies. Someone who seems to have a little trouble getting through their days. Please don't let them shatter into a million pieces without trying as hard as you can to hold them together.

After all, we have all been there once and someone saved us by giving us a hug that made everything seem okay again.

And if you haven't read about Charlie, I really think you should and join me in mentally wishing we could give him a million bear hugs.

Love,

A very emotional Meg.

LIBERATION

I am learning now that the world does not revolve around me.

I can feel bad about that.
Unwanted.
I can feel like I am incapable of leaving an indelible mark in the universe.

I can cry, feel lonely and uncared for because of that.

Or I can use that as an excuse to finally go freely in the crazy, wild path of my dreams,free of baggage,

knowing more than ever that I owe not a damn person an apology for my existence.

So now I choose LIBERATION.

The Sojourner's Sailor

Because life is a finite infinity that has and always will remain a mystery

so to figure out my path in this maze of the mortal

I need guidance from a source of knowledge that remains immortal.

Because hope though it springs eternal,

can only flourish if its flame is fired from a source that isn't internal

so to give myself the energy to carry on one more day

I look to one whose track record surpasses more than just the ordinary.

Therefore my kind of belief causes me to  hold on a little longer because I believe in one who is unimaginably stronger.

Because in my innate imperfection,

I look to one who is perfection itself

so for every one of my undoings

my creator is a being capable of re-doing, re-building and re-creating 

me into an earthling that is the greatest that ever was and will be

based on my hidden strengths, despite my inherent weakness.

Because I am a wanderer,

and sometimes I wander far from the truth.

So I seek one who is patience personified and is able to forgive ceaselessly.

So the one who I believe in waits.

Not just for me but for my kind,

mankind.

I therefore look to the father of time.

I believe in a creator who created everything in its entirety.

The inventor of diversity,

and therefore I choose  a life that celebrates beauty.

 I believe in a father that provides everything

The master giver

therefore I choose a life of being the eternally grateful and humble receipient.

I believe in all-knowing guide who understands this maze of life better than I ever will

therefore I submit myself in my simple state as a sojourner struggling to make sense of everything.

Reluctant though I may be to fully release the reigns,

I still remain a mortal who has learnt to believe in an Indomitable  Immortal to safely sail me in my journey.

Taking stock: It's June!!

Can you believe it is June already?
First half of the year practically gone. I didn't know I'd make it this far but I did it. Surprise!
And look at you, if you are reading this you are alive so go you!
Look at you surviving and everything. Isn't the gift of being alive such a blessing?
Anyway as I look at my ultimate to do list for the year 2015 and see how many items I can confidently cross off, how about taking stock right?
So here goes...

Making:Umm... does preparing working papers count? Because at work that is pretty much 90% what I do. The other 10% constitutes convincing myself not to use company wi-fi to blog and drinking tea.

Cooking: Nothing. Let's stop lying to ourselves we are the classic cooking and cleaning female right? Personally, I am not.

Drinking:Tea. And later I will take mama's  yummy freshly made Mango Juice.

Reading: Noviolet Bulawayo's 'We need new names'. Or rather just finished reading it.
Amazing I tell you. Watch out for my review on it on the StoryMoja festival blog.

Playing: Not a damn thing. I gave up on Redball after level 2. Games just aren't my thing.

Wishing: That time could stand still. I work at this amazing company with the most patient and amazing people, I hate how this internship has to end in a few weeks. *sad face*

Enjoying: My new black opal lip-stick in vampire red. The lip-stick junkie in me is in lip-stick heaven. Talk about great buys.

Waiting: To go home. Trying to give this job my best is so damn exhausting.

Loving: This new literary creative streak I am on. The words have been flowing freely lately. I even participated in the May Short story contest . Even though I didn't win, I love the piece I wrote. Thinking of maybe re-publishing it on this here blog.

Watching: Keeping up with the Kardashians? Haven't had time to go to my regular DVD guy for a fix so re-watching old episodes on E! is what I'm about.

In other unrelated  news, Caitlyn Jenner can gerrit! Whatever your stance is on the whole trans-sexual agenda, you have to admit she came out looking amazing. And if you have no idea what I am talking about, Google is your best friend darling.

 Anyway back to taking stock:

Hoping: That this rain doesn't start till I am safely in bed. I have no issues with this wet and cold Nairobi weather but how it inconveniences everything when it starts suddenly in the middle of the day is not cool.

Marvelling: At how everything always works out in the end. I'm learning that with God, and a little faith, it will work out in the end. And God's timing no matter how much we get impatient with it is always the best.

Wearing: Typical work gear: Formal pants, shirt and a warm cardigan.

Following: Miss I's blog. This girl knows what's up when it comes to growing in the corporate world. Love it!

Feeling: Anxious. I have no idea why :/
 

Bookmarking: This lifestyle blog. Cool stuff right there. 

Thank you for taking stock with me and if you do a taking stock post as well comment below. Would love to read it.
Stay positive and love yourself a little more this June.

Hugs and Kisses,
Me.
:))