For an angel called L.

To a beautiful girl born on the second day of February- 

Good evening beautiful,
I am still feeling like the 22 successful trips I have made around the sun are way too many but then here you are and you have barely even finished your first. My dear you have such a long way to go. Barely a full day old and yet you are already making headlines. A couple of Instagram collages have been made in your honor. People oceans away from us already knew about your arrival even before you opened your tiny little eyes. You are new. So new. But that certainly does not stop the world from treating you like the being made of flesh and blood you are. Already filling you with expectations and you barely even know what you expect from this life. But child, don’t worry. That is just how we survive here. We work. You are already working. In order to be fed, they expect you to cry. And crying, loud enough so that they reward you with what you want is effort in itself. But my darling that is just the beginning. And the thing is it never stops. Until the day you just as dramatically as you entered this place you leave, you will have to work. It’s the only way to get what you want. And you will want so many things. But the good thing is you will get them. If you work. So be ready to do it. Do it hard. It will pay off. Just like it is already starting to every time you cry and someone is by your side ready to nurse you or change you or just make you comfortable. Because comfort is sacrifice.
But I’d be lying if I told you when you work you will always get what you want. In these streets, some people get what they want by sabotage. They will sabotage your dreams by telling you they are not worth the effort. They will sabotage the steps you make. Sometimes you will not even know it but somewhere out there is somebody praying for your downfall thinking it will make them rise higher. You have got to learn not to give those people your energy. Because even before you complete your first revolution around the sun, they will be waiting praying you will not hit your development milestones in time. Or praying your parents aren’t able to give you the best they can. But my darling, they will only ruin you if you let them. You have got to learn to say no to the nonsense. You have got to learn how to focus on your life and what you are doing. But most importantly baby you have to learn to not add to that noise. Being negative won’t take you further but it will hold you back. Saying a word of encouragement to your fellow humans won’t make you attain your goals any faster but it will certainly move a person in that right direction. And there is no greater joy than seeing someone who deserved it excel and knowing you were a part of that. And when you find a bunch of humans whose success and happiness matters to you more than your own, don’t let them go. Be there for them. Be there with them. Such humans with souls as kind as I hope yours will be are rare gems. Don’t ever let them go. Don’t ever let them go without them knowing how beautiful they have been in your life. 

You are a woman. In training. One day you will be a woman. And this my love will be your greatest gift but your biggest undoing.  You will feel things. You will feel things about people. Your emotions will control you so much you will find yourself catching feelings when you had no intentions to. You will feel these things countless times and find yourself going back to the same emotions time and time again. You will hurt. You will hurt badly. You will hurt badly many times. The males you will encounter have this uncanny ability to make your heart bleed a little too often. The pain they will cause will not make sense. You will hate yourself for going back to the very same situations that cause your world to end time and time again. But baby don’t let them steal your shine. Your love is a gift. Don’t let anyone make you feel stupid for the decision you made to bless them with it. And when you do find a human whose heart marches to the same beat as yours, whose mind speaks the same language yours does, make sure you enjoy that conversation. Let your hearts and minds play, freely. That smile he gives you, do not dare hide it. Do dream about that fairy-tale wedding and perfect children. Dance to that beautiful song that is his love. And if in the end, all he said to you were lies. If it was only an illusion and he simply was not meant to stay, it’s okay to cry. Mourn, because a love that beautiful needs to be recognized as it is leaving. But never for a second regret honoring someone else with that diamond that is your love. Maybe it just wasn’t meant to shine for him, but the one who truly deserves it, will come, don’t you worry. 

But while you wait, learn to forgive. Not for the sake of those who caused you pain. Not only just so you may heal but because mistakes are the inevitable consequence of our inherent imperfection. Forgive others. Even when they hurt you yet they knew better. Even if they keep taking you round the same circles. Forgive yourself. Because my dear one you will mess up. You will mess up badly. You will mess up often. You will literally fuck up so many times and so badly, you will even wonder if you are the same person. Love, there is nothing worse than living in conflict with yourself. Accept your mistakes. Accept your humanness. You are literally all that you have left. Love yourself. Fiercely. No one can give you the world if you do not start giving it to yourself. Learn to look in the mirror and be utterly amazed and in love with that beautiful person looking back at you. You are beautiful but only you can tell yourself this. Your imperfection is the most perfect thing in the universe. 

I don’t know how long you will live but I pray you live long enough to be that alibi my babies use when they just cannot miss that plan in Westie. I pray you live longer. I want you to be there when I tell your babies and grandbabies about how on the day you first debuted in these streets the traffic in this city was so shitty, it made me late to class but your in-law didn’t need to save me a seat next to him because everybody just knew. Most importantly, I pray you live each of these days like you will never see them again. I pray that you will give each and every day the best you possibly can even when you literally have nothing left to offer. I pray that on those days you are defeated, you will still fight even harder to make those moments memorable. 

 
I hope you do learn that the only way to enjoy these limited number of breaths we have is by smiling on your worst days and allowing yourself to laugh so loud you forget how to breathe. I hope you have so many of these moments. But when life makes you shed a tear, I hope that the kind of living you do will have you crying so heavily the tears run dry and you fall to your knees but only so that you get the strength to pick your pretty self up and carry on and go even further. I hope you find God and hold on to him fiercely because only his hand can safely sail you through the storms you are yet to see.

 
Nothing lasts forever beautiful. Not happiness. Not pain. Not even life. Even though I know you will not grace us with your presence in this world forever, I pray that you leave an unforgettable mark in the hearts of those you mean the world to.

Welcome to the planet baby,
I sincerely hope you enjoy your stay. 

Love always,
Megan.
Or as you will come to learn, that tall cousin who is eons away from figuring out this whole life thing.

image from Google