YES

So the post below first appeared on this blog as my submission for the Muwado Love Letter Challenge 2 (although I gave it a different title). I read the posts for last year and though I'm late I felt like I had to participate.
Also if you are a writer I dare you to write something on this subject too.
(you can read more details here) And drop a comment of the link, I would love to read it.

Love and Sunshine ❤❤,
Meg.

YES.

The reason I choked on my cup of green tea that time was because when I saw that black velvet box in your palm all that came to mind was how the odds are not in our favor. They probably never have been.
There is no way you expect me to compete with the average lady from back home with a behind that would put a Kenyan socialite to shame. Neither can I throw it down in the kitchen. And I am not anywhere close to fully learning how to. I am not submissive either. I have no idea what that word means and neither does pretty much every other educated feminist lady that I know. The ones in my circles anyway. We are too independent for that nonsense.  We know how to look pretty. We know how to cuss the fuck out of random men who ogle at us as we walk by. We know how to demand for what we want but that “s” word, that is a concept foreign to us. So by the time you are introducing me to the family, I can imagine the glances of disapproval coming from every one. They’ve heard about these dangerous Nairobi girls. They sent you to get an education. You did come back with a degree. And a girl who can barely speak her mother-tongue let alone cook a nice hot plate of Ugali for a large crowd of potential in-laws.
They will probably wonder why out of every single possible female, you landed on me. I don’t have super model looks although I am tall.  I don’t have one of those classy jobs. I spent 4 years pursuing a degree in Commerce only to end up with the job title blogger. Of all the things I could be I chose to be that one that sits at that one corner in Java and bangs the keys on her laptop for a living. I know you have no problem with this. You support me and even help me because in this field at times I find it hard to pay my bills but I can already hear your family asking when I will get a real job.  They will see me in all my black lipstick and nappy 4C hair glory and judge me so badly.
But that’s not the only problem we shall encounter.
My family will think I have lost my mind. It wasn’t enough I decided to cut my hair and say I will not be pursuing that MBA after graduation, I decided to be the one that brought a Ugandan home.
They had plans. My father was a well-connected man. I’m sure they had envisioned a grand wedding to some politician or businessman’s doctor/lawyer/architect son who at the very least was from the same tribe. So when I tell them I decided to cross the border and choose one from your side of Lake Victoria, they will be mad. Scratch that. They will literally burn with anger. And you will probably know why my people are known for their hot tempers.
What you will see are the disapproving looks. What you will not hear are the constant talks and phone calls from my aunties and uncles telling me how these inter-tribal/inter-nationality marriages never work. Another new day will bring another new list of excuses why I will suffer at the hands of my foreign in laws and they will never stop. Because in their world, love doesn’t conquer everything.
But in mine it does.
It’s the reason we already got through all the bullshit we have already dealt with right from those days when my biggest fear was you finding out what I did or did not do that time I went partying with that one crew you cannot stand to up to now when our worries are so much bigger.
Like how they could sabotage this by making me believe we are totally incompatible.
Our personalities are too strong. And that is an issue. Or it might be.
You are a leader, the ever in control Scorpio and I am the classic Leo that does not known how to share the spotlight. I am anti-social, insanely introverted and basically I just do not like talking to people unless they belong to the exclusive circle that is my pride. You on the other hand, know how to make friends with everyone everywhere you meet. The idea of socializing and small talk makes sense in your world but never has in mine.
Until I met you.
And I guess if I was ever to pick somebody to forever bitch to about who will be implicated next in the controversial NYS saga I’d still pick you. Because with you, those conversations always had me yearning for more.  Remember how these meaningless chats with you became my favorite thing to do when it turned into you becoming one of the few and avid readers of my blog?
I am insecure. That isn’t anything new.  I have never wanted anyone close to me to read my work but even now you are the only one I trust enough to email my pieces even before I deem them fit for anyone else to read.
You are still also the only person in my immediate circles whose opinion can make me publish or trash a post so my dear I cannot let them take you out of the equation that is my life.
Without you I don’t have an editor. And reader. And life partner.
Besides, I am a very needy individual and I shamelessly admit that I need you around to remind me I am kind and smart and important. To laugh at those memes based on this because where else will I find a guy who reads everything so he’d get the reference I just made?
But more importantly I need you because you do not expect me to go back to a life without you. You know way too much. I can’t have you loitering around with that kind of ammo. It’s either you are living with me or you are not living at all. This isn’t a threat, my dearest. Well it is. A serious one actually. I know you share the same sentiments. Even your best friends do not know some of the information I have about you so we could say our secrets bond us either way.
So why don’t we do this and just piss off a lot of people?
Kabiite wange, I know the first time you asked all I did was cry but I love you.
My answer is yes.

For an angel called L.

To a beautiful girl born on the second day of February- 

Good evening beautiful,
I am still feeling like the 22 successful trips I have made around the sun are way too many but then here you are and you have barely even finished your first. My dear you have such a long way to go. Barely a full day old and yet you are already making headlines. A couple of Instagram collages have been made in your honor. People oceans away from us already knew about your arrival even before you opened your tiny little eyes. You are new. So new. But that certainly does not stop the world from treating you like the being made of flesh and blood you are. Already filling you with expectations and you barely even know what you expect from this life. But child, don’t worry. That is just how we survive here. We work. You are already working. In order to be fed, they expect you to cry. And crying, loud enough so that they reward you with what you want is effort in itself. But my darling that is just the beginning. And the thing is it never stops. Until the day you just as dramatically as you entered this place you leave, you will have to work. It’s the only way to get what you want. And you will want so many things. But the good thing is you will get them. If you work. So be ready to do it. Do it hard. It will pay off. Just like it is already starting to every time you cry and someone is by your side ready to nurse you or change you or just make you comfortable. Because comfort is sacrifice.
But I’d be lying if I told you when you work you will always get what you want. In these streets, some people get what they want by sabotage. They will sabotage your dreams by telling you they are not worth the effort. They will sabotage the steps you make. Sometimes you will not even know it but somewhere out there is somebody praying for your downfall thinking it will make them rise higher. You have got to learn not to give those people your energy. Because even before you complete your first revolution around the sun, they will be waiting praying you will not hit your development milestones in time. Or praying your parents aren’t able to give you the best they can. But my darling, they will only ruin you if you let them. You have got to learn to say no to the nonsense. You have got to learn how to focus on your life and what you are doing. But most importantly baby you have to learn to not add to that noise. Being negative won’t take you further but it will hold you back. Saying a word of encouragement to your fellow humans won’t make you attain your goals any faster but it will certainly move a person in that right direction. And there is no greater joy than seeing someone who deserved it excel and knowing you were a part of that. And when you find a bunch of humans whose success and happiness matters to you more than your own, don’t let them go. Be there for them. Be there with them. Such humans with souls as kind as I hope yours will be are rare gems. Don’t ever let them go. Don’t ever let them go without them knowing how beautiful they have been in your life. 

You are a woman. In training. One day you will be a woman. And this my love will be your greatest gift but your biggest undoing.  You will feel things. You will feel things about people. Your emotions will control you so much you will find yourself catching feelings when you had no intentions to. You will feel these things countless times and find yourself going back to the same emotions time and time again. You will hurt. You will hurt badly. You will hurt badly many times. The males you will encounter have this uncanny ability to make your heart bleed a little too often. The pain they will cause will not make sense. You will hate yourself for going back to the very same situations that cause your world to end time and time again. But baby don’t let them steal your shine. Your love is a gift. Don’t let anyone make you feel stupid for the decision you made to bless them with it. And when you do find a human whose heart marches to the same beat as yours, whose mind speaks the same language yours does, make sure you enjoy that conversation. Let your hearts and minds play, freely. That smile he gives you, do not dare hide it. Do dream about that fairy-tale wedding and perfect children. Dance to that beautiful song that is his love. And if in the end, all he said to you were lies. If it was only an illusion and he simply was not meant to stay, it’s okay to cry. Mourn, because a love that beautiful needs to be recognized as it is leaving. But never for a second regret honoring someone else with that diamond that is your love. Maybe it just wasn’t meant to shine for him, but the one who truly deserves it, will come, don’t you worry. 

But while you wait, learn to forgive. Not for the sake of those who caused you pain. Not only just so you may heal but because mistakes are the inevitable consequence of our inherent imperfection. Forgive others. Even when they hurt you yet they knew better. Even if they keep taking you round the same circles. Forgive yourself. Because my dear one you will mess up. You will mess up badly. You will mess up often. You will literally fuck up so many times and so badly, you will even wonder if you are the same person. Love, there is nothing worse than living in conflict with yourself. Accept your mistakes. Accept your humanness. You are literally all that you have left. Love yourself. Fiercely. No one can give you the world if you do not start giving it to yourself. Learn to look in the mirror and be utterly amazed and in love with that beautiful person looking back at you. You are beautiful but only you can tell yourself this. Your imperfection is the most perfect thing in the universe. 

I don’t know how long you will live but I pray you live long enough to be that alibi my babies use when they just cannot miss that plan in Westie. I pray you live longer. I want you to be there when I tell your babies and grandbabies about how on the day you first debuted in these streets the traffic in this city was so shitty, it made me late to class but your in-law didn’t need to save me a seat next to him because everybody just knew. Most importantly, I pray you live each of these days like you will never see them again. I pray that you will give each and every day the best you possibly can even when you literally have nothing left to offer. I pray that on those days you are defeated, you will still fight even harder to make those moments memorable. 

 
I hope you do learn that the only way to enjoy these limited number of breaths we have is by smiling on your worst days and allowing yourself to laugh so loud you forget how to breathe. I hope you have so many of these moments. But when life makes you shed a tear, I hope that the kind of living you do will have you crying so heavily the tears run dry and you fall to your knees but only so that you get the strength to pick your pretty self up and carry on and go even further. I hope you find God and hold on to him fiercely because only his hand can safely sail you through the storms you are yet to see.

 
Nothing lasts forever beautiful. Not happiness. Not pain. Not even life. Even though I know you will not grace us with your presence in this world forever, I pray that you leave an unforgettable mark in the hearts of those you mean the world to.

Welcome to the planet baby,
I sincerely hope you enjoy your stay. 

Love always,
Megan.
Or as you will come to learn, that tall cousin who is eons away from figuring out this whole life thing.

image from Google

Taking Stock: February 2016

Hey beautiful...

How are you?
Really.
How are you doing?
Are you happy?
How are your relationships?
How is your school/career progressing?
Are you anywhere near where you want to be?

A person of mine asked me this and it definitely did bring me back to a point of self reflection.
Sometimes we get so caught up in living we forget to actually consider how we are truly doing.

As we start this month number 2 of 2016, take time to check on yourself. Life is too short. If anything needs fixing, baby the time to fix it is now.

So anyway here is what I've been up to.
Enjoy :)

Making: Mental plans to come up with ideas for a blog for a school project. Why is writing so hard to do when you are under pressure????

Also I started keeping a journal again. Been doing it for a week but I feel this is one habit I will be glad I picked up. I can feel that healing coming to me already.

Cooking: A fried egg for dinner in the next few minutes.

Drinking: Lots and lots of herbal teas. I'm all about healing and I think relaxing teas at the end of a long day is totally a part of this process.

Reading:  Words from a Wanderer by Alexandra Elle. As mentioned earlier I'm at this point where I am focusing a lot of my energy into positive self healing and this anthology is full of positive affirmations about self that are truly uplifting.
Also just finished Toni Morrison's The Bluest Eye. This one is sad. Like honestly is it even normal to imagine a life this miserable????

Playing: Color Switch. This one is cool. Hard and frustrating as fuck but fun.

Wishing: For a tablet. Like somebody hear my prayers and just gift me a nice little Samsung Tablet. I will be eternally grateful.

Enjoying: Something very brand new. And I am so happy.
*insert shy giggles here*

Waiting: To stun in some new skirts from Toi that are just the ones!!!!
Thrift shopping never disappoints.

Loving: February and the bright sunny summery days. The heat is annoying but the sun makes me so happy. Time to make memories :)

Watching:War room..or rather wanting to watch it. I hear it's a good one.

Hoping: That this little brand new thing I am loving lasts. Like never in my life have I wanted something to work out as much as I want this one to.

Marvelling: At my little adorable kittens. I am in love with those little creatures. So so in love.

Wearing: This black skirt that is giving me curves I wish I had. If anyone is asking why I was feeling all super fly today its because I was feeling like a had a Kim K booty. Lol.

Following: This blog which makes my ovaries do ten back flips everytime I open it.
Like is it even normal to have a family this cute. Is it?????

Feeling: PMS. And happy. But peaceful because I am all about those kind of vibes.

Bookmarking: Veon's blog. Because her taking stock posts make me happy.

Have a beautiful month lovelies.
Love and Sunshine.
Megan.❤

Also feel free to drop a comment if you did a Taking stock post too. Would love to read it :))

Meg's Favourite: YA books to read

And we're back!!
Hello?
It's Me....

But this isn't Adele speaking lol.

*snaps back to normal mode again*

So I promised to make this a new series for 2016 and this post was actually meant to go live last week but you know, life and PMS, mostly PMS happened. I am really sorry.

For today's post I thought I'd talk about fiction because I love fiction. I cannot read a non-fiction book to save my life but give me a piece of that fiction and my mind shuts down until that story is properly devoured.
Add young adult fiction to the mix and I become a total zombie.

Yes, feel free, judge all you want but I am that 22 year old who reads books decades below her. Well, one decade to be precise, but still. I really shouldn't be reading this shit. I should be reading the Sydney Sheldon's and Dan Brown's and Sophie Kinsella. John Green should not be one of my favourite authors. I am an adult. I should love being an adult and do adult things. NOT!!

Anyway, here is a list of my ultimate top 5 Young Adult fiction books plus my favourite uber mushy and deep quotes from them :))

1. The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky.

This book! Dear Lord this book!! I can't even! Like honestly, every time I think about it I start to get emotional. Perhaps because the author did a fantastic job of painting the picture of a little youngin who is just learning how to deal with emotions and being human and basically just life.

This one had me all up in my feelings I even blogged about it here. And it is a masterpiece. A stunning work of art. We've all been that kind of broken and Chbosky reminds us that this situation is never permanent.

"... I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons and maybe we'll never know most of them but even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from we can still choose where we go from there...."

2. Looking for Alaska by John Green
This book is just the SI Unit for BFF goals.  I fell in love with this book because Alaska is that beautiful, unpredictable ball of energy we all wish we had as a best friend growing up. And in a way we all have that one Alaska kind of person in our lives, the one who comes in shakes our world and then leaves and we are left wondering what to do next, Plus the way the author tells the story is a slight twist from the normal first person narration and I think that is really cool.

" ... we need never be hopeless because we can never be irreparably broken."

3. Paper Towns by John Green
John Green is on this list. Again. Because I wish John Green was around when I was thirteen, oh how I wish. So this one for me is a win just because I fell in love with the journey Quentin was on. Like every other book in this genre there are a lot of self discovery moments and the way he uses his words, laaawwd!! This book is about a friendship and an adventure in pursuit of that friendship.

"... I'm in love with cities I've never been to and people I have never met."

4. Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell

This has to be the ultimate teenage love story, well besides the one between one Hazel Grace Lancaster and Augustus Waters of course, Also I think it is the one book which provides encouragement to that awkward girl who has a lot of problems back home that indeed stuff gets better, It actually does. And it did. Spoiler alert... the author failed to give us a happy ending in this one. Which sucks but this one is totally worth the disappointment.

"Holding Eleanor's hand was like holding a butterfly or a heartbeat. Like holding something complete and completely alive and he'd expected her to feel like heaven plus Nirvana plus that scene in Willy Wonka where Charlie starts to fly."

5. The Hunger Games Trilogy by Suzanne Collins

Between watching the movie I'd recommend the books because the books help you understand more about the situation in the wondrous land of Panem that prompted Katniss to step out as tribute setting off the whirlwind of events that followed. I am not big on fantasy fiction but I fell for this one because there is something really captivating in the story. Also Liam Hemsworth. Liam freaking Hemsworth.

*dreamy sigh*

But to enjoy his yumminess you need to watch the movie, Which isn't the worst idea but please read the books first. They will not disappoint.

"It's the things we love most that destroy us."

Till next time, thanks for dropping by. 

Love and sunshine,

Megan :-*

all my images are from Google. 

Rain

The least the soil you protect could do for you

Is shed its tears

If the blood you shed washes away

Let the universe still know

You were here

If we ever forget you,

At least let the water bless the ground

Where finally, you peacefully

Rest. 

image from GOOGLE

Meg's favourite: Poets on Instagram

This year I have resolved to celebrate my narcissism because let's face it I am awesome. Everything about me is phenomenal from my teeth in need of braces, again, to my size 45 feet to pretty much everything in between. I drip awesomeness. Really I do. And my taste is pretty awesome too. It has to be considering how awesome my mind is.
Well not really. I have lied. I will stop lying. And pardon my sarcastic narcissistic rant earlier, I was having a moment.

*Insert awkward silence here*

Anyway,  I am certainly not a connoisseur of fine food and I rarely let friends go through my music because I have one of those 'don't judge me' type of playlists.
And yeah I basically have very few interests besides poetry, books and chilling with my Cat.
But I like some things which are pretty awesome and I thought I'd add a new section to this blog so every Wednesday expect a 'Meg's favourite' post. Perhaps that may encourage me to try new hobbies so expect to see items such as Meg's favourite: Places in Nairobi to go knitting or Meg's favourite: Shops to get unique jigsaw puzzles from. :) Again just kidding, I will not allow this blog to bore you that much. Although if you are in search of new things to try visit this page for a list of 100 totally cheap hobbies you can start.


So back to today's list.

Now we all know I love poetry, after all I am THE AMATEUR POET. And of course I love Instagram. I mean what else are we meant to do when we are "catching up" with friends besides sit across the table from them and stare at our gigantic smart phones right? LOL.

So sometime last year I discovered how to make my Instagram Home Page more colourful thanks to amazing poets and writers who grace the internet with snippets of their amazing artistry. Therefore below is a list of some of my favorite accounts which I also think you should follow if you want to be blown away when idly scrolling through your page. Enjoy.

Abigail Arunga.

Now I first heard of her sometime last year when she did this interview to promote her anthology Akello. She is a poet, writer and lifestyle blogger and the best part she is KENYAN, just like me. So back to the issue of why I like her page, besides the pictures of cocktails she posts which will have you feeling all thirsty on a Thursday, are the amazing little pieces she posts. Plus she is so cool she also posts her work on her blog (check it out here) And she posts regularly!!

Tapiwa Mugabe.

Tapiwa's poetry is just life!! Well most African Poets are just life, but there is something so magical about the way he weaves his words so of course he had to be on this list. Why should you follow his page?Well I think the power in the screenshot below says a hell of a lot more. Although I certainly wish he would post more often.

Rupi Kaur.

Who is she? She did a whole exhibition based on Menstruation. And caused major  headlines when Instagram took down one of her pictures yet they constantly allow people to post twerk videos and nudes. But most importantly she talked about the taboo M word. And she showed us what exactly the M word is all about, see here. But I came across her poetry much later and I love it. However, she is also another Instagrammer who takes a while before she posts. But  I certainly believe with her, it is so worth the wait.

Ijeoma Umebinyuo

She is Nigerian. And she is really cool. Her Instagram page is not always just about her poetry, she uses it to post about everything else which is cool in her world. And this includes anything from harsh tweets about her home country, Nigeria to screenshots of what is she is currently listening to.

Yrsa Daley Ward.

Well, ever since around August last year, she is and always will be Bae. I mean look at her she is beautiful like eehmagaaawd, she wears her melanin so nicely. And those cheek bones!!! *white girl voice* Like I just.can't. even!!!

This pic is from her lovely Tumblr page.

Aaanyway, her writing is so awesome. I think at every single point there is a line from her anthology- Bone- running through my mind, perfectly describing how I feel. And another reason her page is awesome? She posts regularly. And she can even ambush your time-line with like 5 excerpts from her work at once. And she is also kind enough to even use this platform to tell us of any really cool offers Amazon has on her book making it easier for you to download her book. Yaay :)

Nayyirah Waheed.

Her poetic style is unique, she keeps her poems short but her choice of words is very thought-provoking. Like Yrsa, her Instagram page is very active and a lot of what she posts appears in her anthologies too.

The Poetry Bandit.

What I love about the Poetry Bandit's style is how his posts use this uber cool type-writer template. He gets deep. Very deep. Sometimes taking you to some very dark places with his writing. And I love that. I particularly encourage you to go through his page when love has you feeling all fucked  up. I guarrantee you will feel so much better when you are done. :)

So that's my list. Know anyone else I should be following, drop me a comment. I would love to check them out.

Thank you for reading.

The Reflection Edition: 4/4

So for the final post in the series I was a bit unsure what to write about. In her blog, Tabitha only gave 3 sets of questions so I'm not sure where to take this. But it would be wrong to reflect without giving thanks.

Gratitude is important, everything that happens, happens because it was meant to. I believe in timing and sometimes life has this way of making sure her timing is always right. So give thanks: for the happy times, for the bad times, for everything in between.
Do you pray? Thank God for letting you see this year. If you count your blessings you will realise that life is where it all starts.

So here is my list of 22 things I am thankful for, randomly listed because choosing a number one would be way too hard:

1. My mother.
Because she is the only one I got. My cheerleader, provider, confidant and basically everything.
2. My brother.
We may have two very conflicting personalities. I probably will never fully get him and him me, but he is blood. And I am glad he is around.
3. My special friend (whose name I shall change to Mufasa lol).
He is pretty much one of the very few people whose opinion on my writing MATTERS heavily. I value the input he has added to my work and lately his friendship. I am also thankful for the random times I'd be having a bad day and a text from him, who was initially an acquantaince, would come through telling me how he thinks my work is pretty amaze-balls. People like him keep my flame burning because my desire in life is to be able to touch someone with my words. So thank you for being a pretty amazing human Mufasa :-D:-D
4. All the people who read my work.
I am thankful for everyone who dropped by my posts both here, on my other home Messed Up Too and even on the Story Moja Festival blog. I value feedback. And nothing put a smile on my face more than an email showing a new like or comment. Thank you for reading.
5. Friends, old and new.
I made some pretty awesome girlfriends this year. And I am thankful for lunch dates and conversations and basically having people willing to share a little bit of them with me.
6. The Story Moja Festival 2015.
When I applied to be a blogger for the festival I did not know what I was getting into. I just knew I wanted to write and to meet people as equally in love with writing as I am. It proved to be that and so much more, for the first time I found my people and I learnt so much and had such a phenomenal time being a part of that team.
7. My internship.
I talked about it before and even now I still cant believe how blessed I was to work in that company. I gained a new kind confidence as well as valuable career experience and basically it was a great time.
8.The places I have been to.
I haven't travelled that much this year. In fact the only major out of town place I went to was Amboseli. But I am still grateful for all the new places within the city that I dicscovered because they were all really beautiful. I'm a lover of nature, and even things as simple as going to the outskirts of Nairobi made all the difference in terms of helping me clear my head.
9. School.
I know it is easy to take the ability to learn for granted but I am glad that this year I never had to miss a class because of lack of fees. Education is power and I believe no knowledge ever goes to waste so for finishing yet another academic year peacefully, I am super thankful.
10. My blogs.
I started blogging to keep my writing talent alive. But as I kept at it, it became my platform to vent and to just let my mind race freely. What I love are the opportunities it creates: being able to confidently say that 'yes I am a writer', to the conversations it sparks. Blogging is definitely one of my highlights of this year. I am also thankful for my writing-the one thing I was always sure I could do, the one thing that makes me awesome :-)
11. Clothes.
I am not a fashionista but there is something about dressing up that always has a way of instantly uplifting my moods. So I think fashion is something to celebrate because at the end of the day once you look good, you gain a confidence that can help you conquer anything. 
12. Protection.
This is something I do not take for granted. There has been so much insecurity lately, in Kenya and around the world so I am thankful that through it all, me and mine were kept safe and I haven't lost anyone this year.
13. Books that changed my life.
Pen will always be mightier than sword. In my world at least. This year I read so many books and blogs that touched my heart. The biggest winner of course is Steve Chbosky's The Perks of Being a Wallflower. I also read the Hunger Games trilogy and the 7 People You Meet in Heaven which I think were some pretty amazing pieces of work.
This is the year I also discovered my favorite mordern age poets-Nayyirah Waheed, Rupi Kaur, Warsan Shire, Tapiwa Mugabe and Yrsa Daley Ward. Their words go straight to my soul and I was blessed to discover that kind of beauty.

14. Great restaurants.
I don't have a particular favourite place but I do have a favourite food so as far as food is concerned this year I'm thankful for FRENCH FRIES because fries=happiness :))

15. Jack my hairdresser and the ladies that do my braids.
As a lady I think it is key to have someone who helps keep your mane tamed. That for me is Jack who is an expert at processing hair and keeping these roots straightened. Also the ladies who have been braiding my hair since I was 7, mad love for them because they are awesome people.❤

16. My extended family.
We may not always see eye to eye but I am glad I have them. Family is everything

17. Home.
Nothing beats coming to your little place at the end of a long day and I do not take that for granted.
I am thankful that I have a place I can call my shelter.

18. Good health.
Surprisingly I haven't been that sick this year, except for a little cough I caught sometime earlier this year.
I certainly do not deserve it but the fact that I have barely seen the corridors of a hospital this year is something amazing.

19. All the lessons I have learnt this year.
I've grown. I can say that for sure. I am a little wiser even in the least of ways. I understand that letting go is a process and that it will hurt. I have learnt that fear is a bad thing and I am learning to stand my ground.
I am not the same person I was when I started this year. And the fact that I have grown is something I can celebrate.

20. Answered prayers.
I guess when time passes it is easy to forget those things that had our hearts in a storm but which somehow got fixed. I believe in praying over every little thing and for every little thing that was fixed because I prayed, well I thank God.

21.The internet.
There is a world of possibility out there. I know it sounds cliche but there is and this wonderful creation called the internet has helped link me to everything. And well that is amazing. From Cat videos, to phenomenal blogs to great music and even outfit inspiration, the internet is definitely one of the reasons I am happy to be alive in this era.

22. Turning 22.
It has been so much. I don't think I could write it all. I am glad I got to live to see my 22nd year. Not everyone made it this far and every day I am learning not to take that for granted.

Well I guess that's it. Possibly my last post of the year.
I thank God for everything.
And I thank Him for 2016, whatever it holds.

Have a blessed 2016 and thank you for dropping by. I would also love to know what you are thankful for :)

Love and light,
Me ❤

The Reflection Edition: 3/4

In between eating, making food and waiting to feel hungry again so I can eat I genuinely have not had time to finish up on this series because, well, Christmas.
Hope yours was beautiful too btw.

But I am back again to finish off what I started...

So

1. Do you have a female icon that you look upto? If so, who would that be and why?
For this particular year I'll pick Tabitha from of course Craving Yellow. An African Woman living in the diaspora, I feel she embodies what the mordern African Woman is all about: educated, stylish, bold and confident in her own skin. Her natural hair is errthaaang!!!! Lord knows the number of times I scroll through her Instagram and want to just go have the Big Chop and start all over again. In the past few months I have also found a lot of light in her self portraiture series posts, particularly this one. Her words are uplifting and I think that's why I'd pick her as my icon this year.

2. What do you do to chill out, say over the weekend or after work/school?
I nap. In fact, I take very long naps. I'm that good in bed.. I can sleep for hours!!

3. What's your greatest value in life? (Patience, Selflessness etc)
Kindness. It's something I respect. It is a virtue I want to build. In a world where it's all about chasing your individual happiness, the ability to give your love, time, self and resources is something I truly value and I hope to cultivate this more as I get older.

4. If you could improve one area of your life, what would it be and why?
I'd improve who I am socially.
I guess I still haven't changed much from the socially awkward teen I was. Which sucks. I feel I could do better at opening up to people and building solid meaningful friendships. And next year I want to work on not being so scared around new people and strengthening the few ties I have.

5. What's your favourite online shop?
The online shopping bug is still yet to hit me. But I would sincerely like to thank my local thrift market, TOI, for keeping me fly on a serious budget this year. Mad love to it❤

The Reflection Edition : 2/4

Okay so now we are live with part 2.

1. Name one person in your life that has made all the difference this year.
Mum. Just because she is every super hero ever invented and soo so much more. My woman. My super woman.

2. What aspect about yourself have you grown to love this year?
My booody. I am perfect. Even with my size 10 feet and barely A cup and tiger stripes on my behind. I love me. Soo so much.

3. What is your absolute favourite movie or series of the year?
Power. Because Omari Hardwick. Enough said.

4. What's been difficult this year? What/Whom have you lost?
Letting go of some pretty strong bonds. It took a lot. Soo many tears and wondering if I did the right thing letting these people go. But sometimes we let go so we move on. And I know that they had to leave for a reason.

5. What are your holy grail beauty products of the year?
Arimis Jelly. Do not judge! But honestly it is the best 85 shs I ever spent. Super mild and super moisturing. I recommend it for smooth hands and feet though some people swear by its Acne healing ability.
Also Matte  Red Lipstick. The bolder the better. I mean you just cannot not have a nice liquid matte lippie to brighten even the dullest of days.

Love,
Me. ❤

The Reflection Edition: 1/4

This blog suffers from one thing: neglect. I guess that can be blamed on the blog for the equally as messed up. But I thought that as I end this year, the least I could do is come back to where it all started and reflect on what chasing dreams felt like in 2015.

It's been a good year. Scratch that. It has been a very good year. And I am thankful for all the epic shit I did, beautiful people I met and unforgettable memories I made. Even for the lows that colored some days dark, I am still thankful for those too.
So to celebrate another year chasing dreams I thought to follow the prompts that Craving Yellow is using in her blog here to talk about everything that this year was and wasn't as I look forward to 2016.
So here goes...
PART 1 OF 4

1. What was your happiest moment this year?
Sooo many. I travelled, made new friends, worked hard, drank (clear liquids lol) and enjoyed every minute. 
I discovered my comfort zone and then the place right outside and the experiences that came with saying 'why not' instead of 'why' filled me with so much life.
Basically this year, those were the moments I enjoyed, those moments I made a concious decision to LIVE.

2. What significant transition have you made this year?
Moving into that unknown zone outside my place of comfort. That statement captures so much because it doesn't just mean doing daring things. It meant walking away from relationships that were more exhausting than uplifting despite that lonely feeling that follows. It meant something as simple as saying hello to strangers because ignoring them was way too easy. It meant taking risks. That wasnt easy but making those changes were some of the best decisions I have made this year.

3. What new food did you discover this year?
Steers Fries. Because they are life. And I frankly dont know what else. I am still yet to perfect some recipes so I cant post about that. But yeah. Fries. Not because they are anything new. But because fries=life :-D

4. What book/author/blogger did you find super informative this year, and why?
This one I'd say my Nayyirah, Warsan and Yrsa. Because their various anthologies: Salt and Nejma, Teaching my Mother to Give Birth and Bone speak to my soul. And they made me fall in love with words again.
And of course Tabitha of Craving Yellow. I am not a Naturalista, still thinking about going that way though but her blog is just amazing and filled with so much love and light it is amazing. ❤❤

5. What new spaces/places did you discover this year?
Amboseli was EPIC. I'd write about it but you know what happens in Vega.. I mean Amboseli stays in Amboseli lol. :D

6. What fear did you overcome this year?
Definitely the fear of trying. I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't tried applying to be a Story Moja Fest blogger. Or if I hadn't tried to go above and beyond to make my internship as fulfilling as it was. I wonder how I would be ending if I hadn't tried hanging out with strangers.
So many beautiful things happened because I said no to that fear.
And that's why I can say this year maybe I did actually do some dream chasing. And I got a little bit closer

So how has 2015 been for you?
Comment, email or even blog about it and tag me or drop a link.
You can use the questions above or add your own.
I just hope as you reflect you may find beauty worth celebrating and more reasons to be thankful for this year.
Love and light,
Me ❤

P.S next post coming up tomorrow :)