Recently I was insulted.
Yes, this is my blog and I shall unashamedly vent.
So anyway I was hurt not so much by the way person Y insulted me but more by how they thought I was reacting to the insult. See, they said something mean and in their head they thought I was reacting because I believed what they said but in actual sense what I was reacting to was this person's mindset that two people cannot agree to disagree. Also I was vexed by the way Y doubted my ability as an adult to have a wrong unchangeable opinion.
Well, I did throw a tantrum. One of those lock-yourself-in-your-room-throw-and-break-everything-kind of flip outs.
I felt better, then I felt bad. Really bad. This was because I felt like I was still this 14 year old kid who did not how to handle moodswings.
But then I was hit by one of those rare moments of clarity and I realized I was wrong to feel that way. I had changed and the difference between me and 14 year old me was the simple reality that at 14 I did not understand but now I understood.
I understood that I am an introvert and that's what introverts do, have unexplainable outbursts when they get tired of bottling everything inside. I understood that it was one of those simple things about my temperament that I could not change completely only learn to live with. I also understood that at 20 something, I was anything but ashamed of being this way.
Yes, this is my blog and I shall unashamedly vent.
So anyway I was hurt not so much by the way person Y insulted me but more by how they thought I was reacting to the insult. See, they said something mean and in their head they thought I was reacting because I believed what they said but in actual sense what I was reacting to was this person's mindset that two people cannot agree to disagree. Also I was vexed by the way Y doubted my ability as an adult to have a wrong unchangeable opinion.
Well, I did throw a tantrum. One of those lock-yourself-in-your-room-throw-and-break-everything-kind of flip outs.
I felt better, then I felt bad. Really bad. This was because I felt like I was still this 14 year old kid who did not how to handle moodswings.
But then I was hit by one of those rare moments of clarity and I realized I was wrong to feel that way. I had changed and the difference between me and 14 year old me was the simple reality that at 14 I did not understand but now I understood.
I understood that I am an introvert and that's what introverts do, have unexplainable outbursts when they get tired of bottling everything inside. I understood that it was one of those simple things about my temperament that I could not change completely only learn to live with. I also understood that at 20 something, I was anything but ashamed of being this way.
Anyway... the whole point of writing that was to create a sort of prelude to this letter which was inspired partly by that outburst but mostly by this random article I stumbled upon
Dear Me at 14yrs and 3 weeks,
I hope this letter puts a smile on your face because Lord only knows you need one. This is Me, a 20 year old version of you. A version of you that is way different from who you are now.Slightly different actually but still different. Anyway I'm not good at letters because in the future we do WHATSAPP so I'll be very brief and to the point. I have good news, remember item number 3 on that list you wrote of things to do by the time you turn 18, well you do it. I only wish you hadn't put it on the list because it's not something you'll be very proud of. But anyway that should give you hope that dreams(even the most inappropriate) do come true. But one thing you should learn before it's too late is never to take anything or anyone for granted for example Dad. Actually, especially, Dad.
Another important thing I'd like you to know is that you will make a very big mistake in your life. I wish you won't but there is nothing I can possibly do to change this but you may as well know it. The biggest mistake you shall ever make is not loving yourself enough and not being proud to be you. It costs you a lot, and later on it leads you to make another tragic mistake; believing you are not worth it. Child, if you can, I beg of you change this.(I still write this even if I know it is an exercise done in futility)
But other than that I don't have much to say.
I mean your braces come off and you have this love-hate relatonship with your smile afterwards but at least you do meet someone who falls in love with it, but that's a bit irrelevant.So we shall end it there.
Hugs and kisses,
Another important thing I'd like you to know is that you will make a very big mistake in your life. I wish you won't but there is nothing I can possibly do to change this but you may as well know it. The biggest mistake you shall ever make is not loving yourself enough and not being proud to be you. It costs you a lot, and later on it leads you to make another tragic mistake; believing you are not worth it. Child, if you can, I beg of you change this.(I still write this even if I know it is an exercise done in futility)
But other than that I don't have much to say.
I mean your braces come off and you have this love-hate relatonship with your smile afterwards but at least you do meet someone who falls in love with it, but that's a bit irrelevant.So we shall end it there.
Hugs and kisses,
Me at 20yrs and 4 months.
PS.
There is more to life than being a couch potato.
Also, your eczema does not go away completely, sadly.
There is more to life than being a couch potato.
Also, your eczema does not go away completely, sadly.
PSS.
Being this quiet bookworm isn't such a bad thing because someone actually thought you were cool. Just don't friendzone him accidentally at 18 when you start to come out of your shell.
;-)
Being this quiet bookworm isn't such a bad thing because someone actually thought you were cool. Just don't friendzone him accidentally at 18 when you start to come out of your shell.
;-)
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