MEG'S 5 MORE LESSONS LEARNT FROM HER INTERNSHIP- 2ND TIME AROUND

So, remember when I did this post about what I learnt the first time I dared myself to commit to an internship. It was a very interesting post especially now that I feel I am a totally different person from that girl who was 5ft 8 who wrote that.
Since then I have grown. Literally. I had my BMI checked recently and since then I have added an inch in height and two kilograms in weight which I believe has gone to some desirable areas . *cue Destiny's Child's Bootylicious here*


Aaaanyway.

I really didn't think my recent internship warranted a full post. It has taken a lot to let go of a place I finally felt content in. The past few months I have been in such a good place, revisiting that happiness would mean going through the whole emotional roller-coaster I had when I had to end it all and let go and  believe me doing that shit is hard.

Sometimes I feel that the world as it is is so full of unhappiness it feels like letting go of happiness in pursuit of whatever life holds ahead means exposing yourself to all the bad that comes before the next time you feel happy again and I never feel ready for that. Not now after coming out of a seriously grey moment in my life when I almost went completely under. 

But after reading Miss I's post on how her first day at Google Dublin went I feel inspired to just share a little glimpse of what happy in my life felt like through these lessons I learnt in the past 3 months so here goes..

MEG'S 5 MORE LESSONS LEARNT FROM HER INTERNSHIP- 2ND TIME AROUND

1.No matter how you feel, GET UP DRESS UP NICE AND SHOW UP.

It wasn't easy. Let us start there. Some days especially when you are all new, the thought of showing up each day is scary. The uncertainty around how that day will be and if you are in the right place can be overpowering but I have learnt that there is progress in doing whatever you are called to. Even on those days when everything around is telling you to quit be strong enough to get up, dress up and show up. That's all you have to do. Every thing else will take care of itself just be there.

2. Don't Overthink think it. Just do it.

I reference my previous worry on uncertainty. Sometimes self doubt comes over you like a dark cloud and makes you question everything. But don't do that. The worst that could happen to you at any point is that you will make a mistake and you will learn from it so stop stressing just go ahead and act. And if you fail, remember you can go nowhere but up.

< I apologize for how I just referenced Justin Bieber :))>

3. Take a risk, Take a chance. Make that change.

Yes, I have just quoted Kelly Clarkson but those lyrics really got me through. I learnt to be more confident in the past few weeks than I have in my whole life and I blame my colleague and my mama who told me once that I should just be confident because that's what matters. And as cliche as this sounds, this actually works. Whether it is being confident enough to reach out to that colleague who you know would make a great friend or mentor or approaching that boss so he can give you that assignment that you really know will give you the exposure you need; confidence will take you to heights you never knew you could reach. And along the way you will unlock some levels of strength you never knew you had.

4. Be grateful.

This spirit of thanksgiving is what got me through the hardest goodbye because giving thanks for the time I had was the only thing I could do to show appreciation for the opportunity I received. Every evening I made a conscious decision to tell God thank you and to ask him to remind me never to forget to do so. Any time someone gave me assistance with anything I would always say a little thank you, no matter how insignificant the assistance seemed. I did it simply because the gift of life isn't a guarantee. No one is born entitled to the opportunities that come their way so because all this is a gift that can be taken away, it is only right to recognize the fact that you have been blessed.

5. Lastly, enjoy, make memories and never forget them.

I do not regret any of the moments I had at firm X. I cherish the awkward introductory talk during my first days at work that grew to casual discussions over lunch that grew to taking selfies during sponsored golf tournaments and eventually getting to know strangers better. Those are the moments that made it unforgettable. And there is nothing more comforting than knowing that even if you never see a stranger again, the one thing you are sure you shared is a smile.  Whatever you are going through, take a minute, smile and enjoy whatever element of beauty is in it.

So this was a quickie so I guess that's it. If I could I could list all the names of the beautiful souls I got to work with and a sincere message of gratitude next to the bundles of love and well wishes I would attach I would. But I can't ;((

Instead I will just say dear people of company X where Meg worked recently, thank you for giving me a chance.

And for my dear readers, thank you for reading and I hope the lessons I shared can help you get through whatever you are going through.

Love and light always,

Meg.

Who am I? Really?

I never thought a day would come when my brain would rather think of writing pieces that revolve around me and not about fictional people I wish I knew.
But I guess that's just how it is. One day you love fiction and telling stories about others and the next you become this vain person whose favorite subject is yourself.
So this is me putting it out there that I am vain. Very.
I can spend hours making trips to the mirror just to look at myself and I take only a trillion selfies when I feel pretty.
But the most vain thing about me is that I AM MY OWN MUSE.
Everything about me seems to inspire me to write.
I write about myself when I am in love or lust or something in between.
I write about me when I am sad.
I write about me when I do something good.
I condemn myself when I feel I have not been a very good human being.
I write about my beauty and my insecurities.
I write about my dreams and my feelings.

I write about what I love.
I write about what I hate.
I am insanely fascinated by me so of-course my favorite topic to write about is ME.
Yes, vanity is real. Don't judge me. Or Kanye. Or all the other vain people in the world.
We don't want to be this way but we can't help the fact that we find ourselves so amazing.

But as I write about myself, the one question I constantly grapple with is who I am.

On some days I feel inspired and ready to take on the world, does that make me an alpha type of person? The truth is due to some serious genes I have classic serious Choleric tendencies. Sometimes.
But some days I want to do not a damn thing at all. I want to just sit around watch life pass me by and just be in my lazy happy place, am I hippie? The true phlegmatic. Some days that's who I am and who I wish I could always be.
And sometimes I become this Melancholic Person. The poet inside me prefers quiet,lonely time so that the creative juices can go crazy. That person thrives in silent spaces that allow me to be in touch with my deepest feelings.And I am in love with her.
But some times there is also this wild, full of energy fun-loving persona I become. In fact for some people that is the only person they know because they bring her out. And I love this version too.

And that's where I get confused because society expects us to be one thing and I am these four people and infinite shades of what lies in between so that's why the question comes up, who am I?
Really?

See,what I love about being alive is the fact that each day brings endless possibilities to exist in whichever way seems appropriate at that moment. Life means today I can wake up and decide to be this strong leader commanding the masses to move whichever direction I want and tomorrow I can choose to be the follower hiding unnoticed in the shadows.

Yet society does not appreciate this.

The society we live in insists on putting everyone in these boxes and condemning those who do try to get out of them.
If you are a leader you are expected to be one always even when you do not feel like being one. People do not believe in giving others breaks.
And if you are a bad, you are a branded a bad person even when you do try to be good you can not because the box society puts you in dictates that no good can ever come out of you. Ever.

I may have been a victim of this. And I may also have been a perpetrator of this.
Because at times it is not always easy to accept others for who they are and not treat them differently when they exercise their right to exist freely.
But because I was or can be both does not mean that is who I am.
I am good and bad and happy and sad and pure and impure and all these things. Who I am at one point is not who I will be.

My being is a complex totality of all these things I choose to be and I am happy to live as this complexity.

Everyone has this right too- to be who you were not yesterday and to again be someone totally different tomorrow.
The fact that you are a human being living your life in a way that makes you happy does not mean you are bad. You are just human and the world should respect you for being this.

So again I ask the question, who am I?
Really?
Truth is I don't know.
And I am not even going to try to figure me out.
I am simply Me, Whoever Me is at the moment.

The only thing I am sure of is I have learnt not judge you for being you. So go ahead and do you. Whoever or whatever you want to be at the moment.

<all my pretty images from tumblr and google images>

Taking Stock in Joyful July

Time does go quickly. It's a new month and while a part of me is battling with letting go of the happy feels and memories the last month brought, I also want to celebrate time.

I think the beauty about it is how it has this ability to do so much:
As time passes by, it brings new pain with the same energy that it heals old wounds.
As time passes by, it brings change with the same energy that it shows you how you can also stagnate if you refuse to deal with it.

Change scares me a lot. But the promise of better days to come, better memories and greater love, even though they will come after a lot of pain and hurt, keeps me still open to its scary winds.
So as this month begins, I hope to cling to that promise and I hope you will too.


Happy July beautiful earthlings...

And now for my taking stock post:

Cooking: Tomato soup. I have a recipe which I totally nailed the first time I tried it. Feeling all Gordon Ramsey right now. Tomato soup and fresh bread anybody?

Drinking: Let me lie and say lemon tea. Because I am dreaming of that right now.

Reading:The Husband's Secret by Liane Moriarty. A friend rated it highly so I hope I'll fall in love with it too.

Playing: Colouring. Because I realized I am an eight year old at heart and so I decided to download a coloring app on my phone. Please do not judge me. Please :)

Wishing Grateful: For the gift of everything. I am alive and blessed to be. And I am blessed to have so many beautiful people around me who are literally just diamonds in my life. I thank God for them and for everything. Today let me take a minute to not want but to celebrate.

Enjoying: Life. And the simple things like taking a nice long walk to work with your music playing loud on a cold day. I am starting to feel a little more happier and at peace. Or rather I am starting to embrace a life filled with more positivity and peace. And it feels so good.

Waiting: ummm... for a lot so pass.

Loving: My very damaged but finally starting to grow a bit hair. Shout out to everyone on a hair journey like me.

Watching: Being Mary Jane season 2. There is a plot twist somewhere I really didn't like (read we want David back) but c'est la vie. I am still addicted.

Hoping: That the semester I am about to start will be bearable. At the very least.

Marvelling: At how I have a mother who is the number diamond in my life. Cheers to women who go hard for their children. If it wasn't for the blessing of an old school, loving and hardworking mama, I'm not sure where I'd be. And my daddy too. His legacy still illuminates my life 3 years after his passing. I had and still have the greatest parents ever.

Wearing:Matte red lipstick. I reference my history of being a lipstick junkie :)

Following:A bunch of smart intellectual cookies on twitter. Yes, I decided to join the twitter-verse because apparently that's where all the witty, cool and creative people are. A welcome change from the filth you sometimes can't quite get away from on Facebook. Follow me before I retreat into introverted writer mode and make my account private. I just might follow back.
My handle is  @the_amateurpoet

Feeling: Unsure. But peaceful. Praying in the morning helps by the way.

 

Bookmarking:  One Magunga's blog. Writers like him are the reason I am even more excited for the Story Moja Festival this year. It would be such an honour to meet the brains behind this fantastic site.

Once again, happy July loves. I hope this month will bring nothing but Joy, love, inner peace and every good thing that could possibly happen to you.

One more thing, my quote for the month.....

(all images from Google)

Okay. Bye :-**